Screw you curling. Rated PG-13 (language)

Parental Warning: This Blog may contain language considered inappropriate for sailors and young children. Reader discretion is advised.

Screw you Curling!!!

No seriously. Screw you. I practice, I play, I say nice things about you...and you pay me back with a season like the one that just ended? C’mon.

Well I say SCREW YOU! (My middle fingers on both hands are fully extended and directed at my computer screen).

For the second year in a row, my team went into the regionals as the top seed. And for the 2^nd year in a row, we are not going to provincials. Not even close. We were just awful. I was awful. Well, maybe not awful, but just bad enough to lose three games and be knocked out in the C-Final.

Once again – with all due respect to the teams that beat us – we pretty much beat ourselves. It’s like we forgot how to win.

In our first loss, it was a goofy steal of two against Max Dufresne.

In our second loss, it was a steal of 3 to start the game against us, and then after a solid 5 ends, we gave up a retarded 4-banger in the 7^th end to Kevin Golberg.

In our 3^rd loss, we started by giving up an easy 4 (it should have been 5) in the 1^st end to Steeve Gagnon.

So we are out. Very out. My competitive season ends unceremoniously on January 8^th.

So I say again; screw you curling!

 I am done with you this year. You can kiss my badly-beaten 40 year-old-toe-tucking arse.

I used to say nice things about you – I used to defend you when people laughed at you. I used to say – “Curling is not as goofy as it looks – It’s actually fun and cool!”

When people laugh at you on TV   - I used to say “It’s really a great TV sport when you take the time to understand the game!”  Well no more. I will now join in those who mock you.  

When people say it is a sport for old people – I will nod in agreement.

When the assholes on Sports talk radio complain about the amount of curling coverage on TV – I will call in and agree with them. “More poker on TSN!” I will say.

At least for a little while.

***

Okay – enough bad news about me. How about some good news:

Felix Asselin, Marc-Alexandre Dion, Lewis South, and Sami Guimond-Jaber from Glenmore won the Quebec Junior provincials this weekend in Val d’Or.

This is a feel-good story: these are good kids. They play in the club. They are well-coached by Benoit Forget, who deserves a lot of the credit, both for their curling and their attitude.

Best of luck in Nappanee, Ontario at junior Nationals.

For those who have read my post from last week – these guys are a case study about how to integrate juniors into a curling club. Felix and Sami play front end in the Glenmore A-ladder for Lawren Steventon (who I believe went to a Brier 30 or 40 years ago). They play good games, and learn some curling smarts from an able veteran and learn some maturity in the process.  

***

The Skins game was on TSN this weekend. I only caught bits and pieces (was busy losing, as described earlier) - but from what I saw it was good TV. Koe made an “easy” triple take-out TV shot to win. Also - I have to say I got a bit of sick pleasure watching Glenn Howard play as badly as I did this weekend.

Rumour has it they are changing the format next year, with fan voting to select an all-star team to play. I say thank God – this event needs some fresh ideas.

Oh - 1 more thing. I know Casino Rama is a nice sponsor – but I got a little sick of the commercial with all the people with their arms up in the air supposedly celebrating their casino winning.

Seems to me they need to do a commercial with a bunch of people with their empty pockets hanging out to show both sides: (sadly, this is also the way we look in our team picture this year)

That and they kept showing the add for the Slide-and-Serve Meatloaf tray. I have enjoyed my mother's and wife's meatloaf out of a conventional pan my entire life (and have never once seen anything as disgusting looking as the meatloaf you see at the beginning of this video) and - yet I must have one. Damn you marketers!

Watch the commercial here: and it comes with a free slice-and serve knife!!!

http://youtu.be/niYQdLmWacw