Favorite Reporter

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Wang is Looking for Some Skin

I thought the election was over. Obama won. But there is a new election to take its place: the TSN curling  skins game will now feature a fan vote to determine who will play. From what I understand, TSN will RANDOMLY combine the top vote-getters onto different teams (kinda like pickup hockey at the local skating rink).

Over the past few days I have been carpet-bombed on Social Media by curlers shamelessly begging for votes. I think Ryan Fry has now officially made more annoying Facebook posts than Farmville.

Overall, I think its a great idea. Should make for some fun match-ups. But I question TSN' s choice for candidates. They went with the nation's top ranked curlers. Boring.
Why don't the good folks at TSN allow for write-in candidates??? They missed a great opportunity. With this in mind, here is my list of write-in candidates that should be at the skins game:

- Scott Hill:  One of the most brilliantly insane curlers on the planet. Not even sure if he has thrown a rock in the last year, but it does not matter. Scott at the skins game would be pure entertainment. Pair him up with a Brad Gushue, and wait for Gushue's head to explode when Scott come into the house and said something like: "Brad, you need to throw the soft cheese at this one, and throw it like a lefty."

- Eve Muirhead:  Oh wait, skins does not mean that one team will play "shirts", while the other gets "skins"? Never mind.

- Brad Heidt: Many may remember Brad from a Brier final in the mid-90's, where he chewed out his incompetent 3rd (Mark Dacey!), in the middle of the 10th end. I played Brad Heidt a few years back, and he interrupted us while we talking about a shot to say: "I will try to keep it simpler for you guys next time." We need Brad Heidt at the skins game. Otherwise John Morris will be the only powder keg that might break a broom over his own leg.

- Robert Desjardins: Bob is one of the most amusing characters in curling. Plus, I think we need a little French flavor at the skins. Why was there not one token Quebec player invited to be in the list? I am going to send 20 e-mails a day to TSN demanding some linguistic equality at the Skins game.

- Joëlle Sabourin: Joelle makes watching any televised curling better. Plus, she sweeps better than Steve Gould.

- Pierre Charrette: Actually, maybe only Pierre's brain should be invited. They could make it a lifeline (like in "Who Wants to be A Millionaire). Instead of "Phone a Friend", skips could "Ask Pierre's brain" what shot they should play.

- Heath "Heater" McCormick: Just to watch his body contort, twist, and wail as if being tortured while he called sweeping...on an open draw.

- Ed Werenich: I am not sure how old Ed is now, but he was the uncontested master of all things skins for about 20 years. I would be glued to my TV waiting for him to make a hack-weight triple. And you know he would.

- Shane Park: Shane is the craziest MF I have ever seen on the ice. Also one of the best throwers. But rest assured, if anyone playing for him threw a bad shot, the TV coverage would sound like this:  "Get your Bleep Bleeping head out of your bleep, you bleep bleep bleep. And why don't you go bleep yourself while you're at it!"

- Binyu Wang: Just once, I need to hear Vic Router say: "Wang is looking for some Skin". Tee hee.

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