Brier Predictions, and I need a Wax Vac

You might have noticed that curling is back on TV…with the Brier in Kamloops BC. I must say it is a little bit painful watching the Brier this year, given that we came somewhat close to making it there. And it seems somewhat anti-climactic after the thrill of the Olympics. But what the hell, it still provides more compelling drama than most of the grand slams, and there is really not much else on TV these days.

The post-Olympic Briers are extremely tough to predict. Half of the teams there will not be together next year, and this surely affects their outlook and their chemistry. The last two post-Olympic Briers were won by Menard and Koe, both surprises. The big teams are usually a bit burnt out, as following the Olympic dream now means curling like a maniac for the 2 or 3 years leading up to the trials. It is normal for the teams to have a letdown in the months after.

Round Robin predictions:

- Kevin Koe is probably the odds-on favorite to win. This is a great team (although the rumour is that they will be breaking up after this week) with a ton of talent and experience who would love nothing more than to cap the disappointment of their trials performance with a Brier win. Prediction: 9-2 or 8-3.

- Greg Balsdon (Ont): the team that nobody knows, who beat Glenn Howard in Ontario. This is a solid cashspiel team, with Slam and Trials experience. And unlike many of the other favorites, they probably do not have plans to break up next week! Expect to see them in the playoffs. Prediction 8-3 or 7-4.

- Jeff Stoughton. Not sure if this is a swan song Brier for the 50-year old, but it sure feels like one. I am thinking he might win, have his team tearfully carry him out of the arena with him on their shoulders waving triumphantly to the crowd, and then announce his retirement (which would be especially ironic, since Team Canada gets invited back next year for the first time). Prediction 10-1 or 9-2

- Brad Gushue (NL): I guess he will do well. His team has looked rather shitty so far, with Gallant currently curling like milk (somewhere between 2 and 3.25%).  Brad himself makes everything, but I am not sure he can carry this team on his back. Likely will squeeze into playoffs, then exit quickly like most years. Prediction: 7-4

- Jeff Cotter/John Morris (BC): Welcome back Cotter, the Cinderella-story from the trials will be tough to beat, mainly because of Morris. I think everyone and their dog knows that he will not be with this team for much longer, and he seems to be as popular in BC curling circles as an OCA official a CCA cocktail party, and I think this will keep them from winning. Prediction 7-4 or 6-5

- Jean-Michel Ménard: the perennial Quebec team will be tough to beat. They are not as consistent this year as they have been in years past, but they have the talent and the experience to get by anyone. It will depend mostly on Crete who can be outstanding or can be mediocre. Not sure why, but look for more insane yelling and quirky TSN clips of them looking silly, like the cover of the Tankard Times below. They will finish somewhere between 8-3 and 6-5.

 

 

-- Steve Laycock (Sask): Apart from having the best porn-star name in curling, this is a decent team. I don’t think they will win, or make the playoffs, but will finish around 6-5 or 5-6 and beat some good teams.

- The other Koe from the NWT? Could surprise a lot of teams and squeak into a playoff spot like he did a few years back, but it would be unexpected. Expect 6-5 or 5-6.

Everybody else? Likely beating each other up trying to avoid the shame and horror of next year’s relegation game. I don’t think anyone else will win more than 5 games, although I would love to see Grattan (NB) or Murphy (NS) in the playoffs.

Prediction for the Final:

Stoughton and Koe in the final. First one who smiles, loses.

Some other thoughts:

- I need a Wax Vac. I have been risking my brain and my eardrums for year by using a Q-Tip to clean out my ears. What was I thinking!?! I love the “doctor” they interview during the infomercial who tells you how unsafe it is to stick sharp objects into your ear. Love the Brier commercials.

 

 - The arena looks somewhat empty so far. I expect this Brier to be a bit like the Montreal Scotties; smaller crowds than usual, more of a quaint location. I assume the CCA tries smaller than usual markets during the Olympic years where the Scotties and Brier tend to play second fiddle to the Olympics.

- Speaking of the Olympics, it seems that Jacobs and Team will be canonized at the Brier, where they will make a celebrity appearance later this week. Ryan Fry’s head will be so big that it will have its own gravitational field. Rocks on the ice will be affected, and will begin circling his head like moons.

- If you are on Twitter – you need to be following the Fake Jean-Michel Ménard  (@FakeJMenard). Absolutely hilarious. And for those of you who keep asking - it is not me!!!

The Olympics are Over! :-( What now?

Like the Sochi bear, I too felt like shedding a tear at the close of the Olympics, and why the hell not. The Olympics were awesome. Not just for the curling, but for everything. The Winter Olympics provide an orgy of drama for the sports enthusiast. Even the most banal sport that you usually would never even slow down for when channel surfing provides the opportunity for heightened drama, for true inspiration and glory.And there is Olympic Hockey. And Curling!

Some random Winter Olympic observations:

• I don’t understand why Canadians are not better at biathlon. We like to hunt. We like to ski. Seems like a natural sport for us. It’s almost as if like as if they made watching hockey and drinking Tim Horton’s a sport.  And yet we were nowhere near the podium. Go figure.
• I think Ice dancing is a beautiful and challenging activity. But for the love of god, it is not a sport. I love the rant by this sports announcer that I had never heard of before….(link to Sid's rant). The post-skate interview with Scott Moir was a fascinating study of why this is not a sport. Scott basically said – if you read between the lines – that he knew coming into the games that they were going to finish second because there coach was now more in love with the American couple (who she also coached!) So presumably, she would be lobbying harder for them, therefore, Virtue and Moir were skating for 2^nd place. That would be like me saying I know I cannot win my next curling game, because the rocks like the other team better, and will surely position themselves to their advantage.  Then, after this, the Russian girl who wins the singles was basically not even close to the Korean girl who finished 2^nd. Oh well, thank god the Olympics are over so I can go back to not giving a shit about figure skating for another four years, and THANK GOD again that I play sports that require no judging.
• Short track speed skating reminds me a lot of roller-derby. I know it is a tough sport, and these guys (and girls) all have thighs roughly the same circumference as my chest, but damn it looks so random. The relay even more-so than the individual races. I am thinking Montrealers are naturally drawn to the sport because it reminds them of driving to work in traffic.  
• I love watching the X-games sports, but when they add a railing to slide down and a giant Russian doll that gets you points for touching as you fly by, kinda makes it feel like I am watching some skateboarders in front of my building getting chased by security. But damn, it is impressive. 
• I don't understand how a country where weed is not only legal, it is part of the natural culture, can be so good at long-track speed skating. The Dutch owned that event. Apparently it is simply because they have 6 long-track speed skating facilities spread out across the country. Here is my idea: we should convert the Olympic Stadium into a long-track skating oval. Then at least it would serve a purpose, and might get us some medals in South Korea!

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Okay, given that this is supposed to be a curling blog, maybe a bit about the Olympic curling:

The curling was awesome to watch. I loved waking up to catch the last 5 ends of the games in the morning before starting my day. It seemed like a great way to watch curling.

Jennifer Jones was awe-inspiring. I am sure many lines will be written for years to come about how well that team played during the Olympics…but as a curler it was special. This was the biggest stage in the world, and curling is a game that can cripple you when you proceed on such a big stage for the first time. Kaitlin Lawes played more like a player who was in awe of the moment. She is a phenomenal curler, but struggled under the weight of the pressure of such a career-defining game, as could be expected. But JJ was unreal. She curled some ungodly number in the final like 90-95%, and it was a stunningly tough 95%. There were not a lot of open hits or easy draws. She had to make tough, TOUGH shots - and made almost all of them. Under the biggest pressure I can imagine. Wow. 

Brad Jacobs was equally solid, although Murdoch made it look easy for him in the final. The Scottish skip’s team had a bad case of stage fright, and the game was all but over after 4 ends. But Jacobs played some solid curling all week after a rough start, and is a deserving champion. I wonder if next time I am in Sault-Ste Marie I will drive on the Brad Jacobs Highway, or visit the Brad Jacobs arena. Maybe they will come out with a line of Team Jacobs inspired protein shakes, or maybe curling-themed gym, with barbells that use curling stones instead of weights!

The Olympics provide such a great stage for curling, and they highlight one of the great aspects of the game: curling is the ultimate test of conquering your own nerves. No matter what level you curl at,  the game will put you under pressure. At some point you will have to make your shot, with everyone watching. This is true for the club curler playing in his club championship C-final for the first time, as it is true for Murdoch’s front end missing relatively easy shots at the Olympics. The game forces you to confront your fear and throw the rock, and to learn how to harness your nerves and beat them. The game is played against yourself - the other team can only stand there and watch as you throw. And it is just as tough for the guys on TV to deal with as it is for you and me. The Olympics put the best curlers in the World under the biggest pressure imaginable: EVERYONE is watching. And you have to make a draw, to the four-foot, around a guard, against three. Yikes.

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So what did having 4 guys that looked like linebackers as curlers do for the sport? I don’t know yet, the jury is still out. But I am guessing it will have an impact. Here is a story:

Was speaking with our curling club manager… Apparently during the Olympics, 5 athletic guys showed up at our curling club to try the game out. They were drunk, but made a number of comments about getting to the Olympics, and how cool the sport looked on TV. Apparently one of them was a former pro football player. Yes they had been drinking, and much like the strippers they surely met later, they will likely not remember their encounter with curling. But a bunch of socially well-adjusted, athletic guys showed up uninvited at a curling club! Whoa! Unprecedented! I am thinking our recruiting job might just have gotten a bit easier.

Now if I can only convince get 4 girls inspired by the Anna Sidorova Olympic Russian Curling Team to show up while I am practicing there one day and ask for me to show them my technique, my life will be complete. Here is a gratuitous pic of Anna Sidorova.

 

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Some good news stories from the Quebec Senior Championships:

On the men's side, Denis Laflamme won over Johnny Stewart from Valleyfiled. Denis "the Flame" Laflamme is one of the true nice guys in the sport, and a great underdog story. Denis is from Sept-Iles. For those of you who don't know where Sept-Iles is; get in your car and drive for a day, and you are about half way there. Despite the remoteness, Denis has competed at the men's level for years, and has won more than his fair share of games. To do so he has logged more travel miles than most Quebec teams put together. Denis is a shotmaker who clearly loves the game. Nobody I know is more deserving to where a Quebec jacket at a Nationals than Denis. Enjoy the moment my friend! 

In honor of his win - I have pasted a link to the classic 80's Cheap Trick Song The Flame, even though I am pretty sure Denis might have never heard it.

On the women's side, Cathy Derrick will represent Quebec at Nationals. Glad to see Cathy back at another Nationals - she is a sweetheart.

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Sad news in the curling world. The Best Lead in the World, Neil Harrison passed away. “Harry” played with the great Ed Werenich on their Brier and World Championship Team, and could take the 2 worst rocks on the ice on the worst ice conditions you could imagine and make two perfect come-arounds every time. He will be missed.