Broomageddon - Return to hair!

I have not written on this for a while. And so much has happened I do not even know where to start.

My thinking has evolved a lot on this issue. If I go back to my first blog on this subject – I feel like I was writing it before having seen the light. I can’t say I remember a period of such rapid evolution in a sport. In the space of six months – we have ALL changed the way we sweep, the tools we sweep with, and how we communicate on the ice (I now have to remember the names of the guys sweeping for me!). For a lifelong curler, this is a lot to absorb! And if you have been away from the game for a while – this will be a big shock.

I played an exhibition game with last week with Jean Gagnon, who has played lead at a number of Briers not too long ago, but was not playing competitively this year. He has not drunk the directional-sweeping Kool-Aid yet. It was a totally bizarre experience. A rock was over-curling – and I said “YES – but not you Jean”!  He looked at me like I was insane. Stop sweeping! You are making it curl!

I feel like my eyes have been opened on this one. I wonder how many times in my curling career I have over-curled and crashed a guard while my lead sweeper pounded a rock on the “wrong” side to make it curl. I wish I had known then what I know now. Since the beginning of the season I have seen things. I have learned things. I have practiced with the different techniques – the different fabrics. We played a provincial against teams using hair and/or icepads. I have seen virtually everybody come to the realisation that you can make a rock curl by sweeping it (a certain way).

One-sweeper and directional sweeping are here to stay. I think at least some of this is simply the result of a better understanding of the underlying physics of the game – which has caused us to challenge the established thinking.

The genie is out of the bottle, there is no going back. The biggest learning for me in this has been that you can make a rock curl sweeping “with the curl”, EVEN WITH A NORMAL, ACROSS THE FACE TECHNIQUE. Watch the video that Team Gushue put out his week to prove the point that hair brushes are as bad as the banned Icepads.  Walker is not sweeping illegally. He is just sweeping. We practiced it and saw similar results. When you sweep with the curl – you can make a rock curl. A lot.

As far as what type of broom you use – here is the deal:

The more abrasive the broom – the better (for directional sweeping at least). Abraisive brooms might be crappy at making a rock go further, but they sure as hell can move it around the ice. The Banned Icepad, a hairbroom, a new performance pad, the new LEGAL icepad, can all have the same impact with varying degrees of effectiveness. The newer the product – the better it works. Even sweeping a handful of rocks with a pad seems to minimize the effectiveness of the broom as a directional tool.

Hair brushes have added a new wrinkle to the debate. hair brushes work as directional sweeping tools. With hair- the shorter the bristles, the better it works (which is why most teams are using the Asham brush with short hair in the middle. But also depends on the type of hair – and the mix of synthetic materials. Not sure if newer hair brushes work better - but hair has made a comeback! Its like a 70's porn movie on the ice now.

So where do we go from here?

I think we will need to agree on a few points for competitive play:

1)      We will never be able to effectively control technique. I think this is a flawed solution to the problem. If we go this route, we will need umpires, officials, and tons of pain-in-the-ass judging to ensure that the guy sweeping is moving across the face of the stone. I really hope it never comes to this. This solution sounds simple on paper – but would result in curling becoming more of a “judged” sport, where an official would need to interpret a sweepers motion to see if he is crossing the path – and at what angle. Will we need protractors?

2)      We will need regulation on fabric. I am not sure how to test – but clearly there are a number of products that have too great an influence on the stone – hair brushes being one of them.  Some guidelines on what kind of fabric is acceptable will have to come from the WCG/CA/WCT. Will we have to go to one fabric? I think he are heading that way. The more abrasive the pad – the more effective it is. The physics of the technique is the same regardless of what tool you are using – but the results can vary significantly based on the material. We need to draw a line.

3)      The other option is to let it all go. Sweep with whatever you want, as long as it does not damage the ice. This will not happen. “Damaging the ice” is subject to a wide degree of interpretation – as any sweeping likely damages the ice at some level. Plus it will leave us in a situation where the skill of the game will be reduced to who can make a rock best do magic tricks. The game loses all credibility if it comes to this. I think I might have to switch to Mixed Doubles!

I realize that I am contradicting what I wrote about this just a few months ago. But as I mentioned earlier, I have seen things. I see where this is headed, and clearly we need to fix it quickly for the good of the game.

I know everyone is getting sick and tired of this. Curlers just want to curl. I heard some nasty stories coming out of pretty much every provincial playdown of accusations, name-calling and dumb rulings. And we are now in a situation that if you are not directional sweeping – you are not winning. It’s like steroid use in cycling.

Reasonable solutions are needed – and they are needed fast. I hope the powers that be can wrap their heads around this one and come up with something that settles the storm and sets everyone on a level playing field.

***

People are asking when I will blog about provincials. My therapist says I am making good progress – and I might be able to talk about it someday!

The UCF predictions on Quebec Provincials!

I was hanging around a dark curling club bar just before Christmas, when in walked a shady figure with a dark mask on. I recognized him right away as the Unknown Curling Fan (the UCF) who had in previous years made anonymous predictions about Quebec provincials. But it had been years since anyone had heard from him. Where had he gone?

He sat next to me and ordered a gin and tonic. In a gravelly voice, he asked me:

“Are you the guy with the crappy curling blog?” he asked.

“Yup. That is me.” I replied, sipping on a rye and coke.

“I have some predictions for Valleyfield.”

So below is an extract of my conversation with UCF, as best as I could remember it:

Me: Okay – let’s get the Women’s side out of the way first. It should not take too long.

UCF: Indeed. Only 5 teams signed up! Women’s curling is going the way of the dinosaurs in Quebec.  There used to be 5 teams entered in my club! Now only 5 teams in the whole province! Soon it will be a sign-up sheet to go to the Scotties! This feels like High School all over again. (I went to an all-boys school!)  Somebody should write a blog with ideas on how to fix it!

Me: Hmmmmm. I think I already did. Okay – so who will win?

UCF: Only 3 teams have a sniff. Marie-France Larouche is likely the favourite, although she is coming off of child-raising exile from the game. They have looked good when they have played.  Lauren Mann is the defending champ, and they work harder than most teams. Roxanne Perron has had a dog of a season, but lost the final last year and will likely pick it up for provincials. Camille Lapierre and Helene Pelchat are there to fill out the draw, but will likely win a few games they are not expected to win.

Good enough?

Me: Okay. But who will win!

UCF: Tricky question. I like longshots, underdogs and Disney movies, so I will go with Perron winning 8-7 in an extra-end by throwing an outturn tap-back with back four-weight for the win. (This is totally unlikely – but imagine how much of a genius I will look like if it hits!)

Me: Okay – enough about women! Let’s talk about MEN. Let’s start by looking at who is not there! Any big teams not make the cut?

UCF: Not really. A few surprises in the regionals – with John Stewart and his elbow-patch toe-tuck retro-team winning a spot, and Marco Chartrand (formerly Max Dufresne’s team, with Max now playing 3rd) surprising some teams by squeaking through the C – but those are not really big surprises.

Me: Some were surprised that Mark Homan did not qualify. There was a lot of griping about Mark playing down in Quebec this year. (Mark has curled out of Ottawa/Ontario for the past few years, and has made it to Ontario provincials). He picked up Mike Kennedy and Sebastien Robillard, and apparently lives in Gatineau! So it was all legal (thanks to the CCA now allowing one out-of-province import per team), but his team was frowned upon by the Quebec curling community. But What do you think UCF?

UCF: I say whatever. The guy pays taxes in Quebec, and has curled in Quebec provincials before. So I say “Bienvenue au Quebec Mark!”. And they lost anyway. Apparently they have now learned the meaning of the French expression: “y’en a pas de facile!”  

But overall, it is a very strong field! There are 14 good teams, and definitely no free spaces on the bingo card. If you find yourself looking for an easy game, then it’s you!

Me: So what about the new format?

UCF: Should be interesting. It is now a three-step provincial! Step one is two pools of 7 teams, round robin, the top 3 get out of each pool!

Then the reaming 6 teams finish the round robin (you carry forward your record from the first stage), then the top 4 out of 6 move on to the playoffs. Then it’s back to the traditional 4 team page system (Named after legendary rock guitarist Jimmy Paige) to get us a winner.

Me: Sounds complicated!

UCF: It is. The eggheads at Curling Quebec came up with it as a good compromise to ensure that everyone has a fair shot at making it to provincials by including 14 teams instead of 10. And it seems to have worked. There are teams from Sept-Iles, Val d’Or, the Saguenay and even a Host team.  As usual, some people will complain about the format, but it still comes down to a one-game final, and the best team usually wins! As a bonus – if you stink it up and go 0-6, you don’t have to stick around until Friday and pretend to still like your team!

Me: Okay. So talk about the field. Who are the favorites?  

UCF: Okay. If we start at the top, of course JM is the favorite. But they are beatable.

I called Vic Router, and asked him what was the secret to beating Ménard, and he said “Make them throw in-turns”. So I asked him how to do that, and he said “I have no idea, but make the final 6-5 Ménard”.

JM throws his outturn everywhere. He loves his outturn. At night, he has wet dreams about outturns. He wanted to name his first-born “Outturn” but Annie said no. When he stands at the urinal, don’t stand to his left because he will throw an outturn and pee on you. Clocks make him feel uncomfortable (because they turn clockwise). His car only has a left hand turn-signal.

When he has to throw an in-turn – the team has to follow an emergency procedure handbook, because it only happens once a season.  JM’s inturn is so bad that he is thinking about learning to throw left-handed – so if he ever was someday forced to throw an in-turn, he could switch curling shoes with his brother and throw a lefty out-turn instead.

Seriously -  JM will be tough to beat as usual, no matter what turn he is throwing. He is the odds-on favourite as usual.

Me: The #2 ranked team is likely to be Fournier. What do you think of this team?

UCF: Never heard of him. Apparently he toe-tucks, and comes from the Saguenay. Sounds like a Serge Reid wannabe.

Me: Okay, thanks. So are you expecting the crowd to be chanting “Guy, Guy, Guy!”?

UCF: For sure the crowd favorite is likely to be the colourful Guy Hemmings, who emerged this season from a cave in Northern Afghanistan to skip the Trepannier brothers and his nephew Simon. The Trepannier brothers are local legends in Valleyfield. They will have countless swooning admirers! And Guy always draws a crowd. Guy will win a lot of games by being Guy – and throwing hack-weight double takeouts and by drawing to the pin like he owns it.

Me: What about the rest of the field?

UCF: Well, in no particular order…

Bob Desjardins is likely to be an interesting team to follow, as usual. This season Bob is more like an infomercial than a curling team: Order a CurlBob now! It throws skips rocks, it sweeps, it calls the game, it slices, it dices, it finds sponsors. Call 1-888-CURLBOB to order your very own Bob Desjardins now for 39.99 and we will include for free these authentic Bob Desjardins woolen slippers to put over your curling shoes!! 

Bob will win games. Just by being Bob.

Matt Beaufort and his guys are young and solid. And they are doing that snowplow/corner sweeping with hair brooms thing that all the big teams WCT are now doing. We will see if it will work!

Not sure who will skip William Dion’s team; at regionals Felix Asselin took the helm, and they won the A. Depending on the line-up, they will win some games.

Steven Munroe: Last year’s 4^th place finisher had to drive 39 hours to play a regional after finishing just out of the money spot, so you can bet that they will be hungry to win, if only to make it feel like driving to Sept-Iles for 2 games was worth the trip!

JS Roy has played well at times this year, and badly at other times, but has enough game to at least be a spoiler, if not a contender. They will also win games because their team jackets look like an acid trip I took back in the 70’s.

Those are the 8 most likely teams to move past the initial stage. So at least two of these will be out on Wednesday! The remaining 6 teams that I have not mentioned will have to upset some of these teams to get into the playoffs. Is it likely? Not really, but you never know.

In the remaining six teams, there are some interesting story lines:

Not sure when the last father-son match up happened at a Quebec Provincial. Not in recent memory at least. If John Stewart does play Jeff Stewart, I suspect it will go like this:

John: I am your father Jeff.

Jeff: Nooooooooo!

John uses light saber to cut off Jeff’s throwing arm.

The end.

Other than that, you have Denis Robichaud, Simon Hébert/Kevin Baker – the designated “Host” team , Denis “the Flame” Laflamme, and Marc-André Chartrand. All of these teams would likely be very happy to be playing after Wednesday, but will probably not be there for the weekend. But they are all good enough to upset a contender or two along the way.

Me: Anything else?

Yup.  A big thumbs up to Valleyfield and the folks at CQ in advance; it looks like they have stepped up the marketing, the excitement and the marketability of the event. It now has a title sponsor (World Financial Group) to go along with Scotties, web-streaming of the finals and some pretty good pre-promotion so far.

Now all we need is fans!!! So come and watch. Valleyfield is not far. And the curling will be good.

Me: Thanks UCF. This has been great. You should start a blog!

UCF: Naw - nobody reads blogs. I now must go into hiding again!

With that the UCF threw back his G&T and slid quietly out of the curling club. 

Screw You Charlie Brown - (aka Charlevoix)

So here we are at Christmas.

You will perhaps notice that I have not written a blog in over a month. It is not from lack of potential content!

Since my last blog – we have had:

• More broomgate. With statements from Curling Canada and the WCF seemingly putting a wet blanket over the yelling and vitriolic that was being thrown around. (I got called a liar by a World Champion! Fun.)
• Charlevoix: Screw you again Charlevoix. Played awful, had a crappy draw, and was done Friday night. Here is a pictorial representation of every year I play in Charlevoix: 

Good Grief.(not sure if Charlevoix is Lucy, or the football, but I am definitely Charlie Brown in this example)

• Gushue doing his best impression of a Tyrannosaurus Rex (T-Rex's have really short arms, so I imagine when they fell they landed on their faces). And then he manages to return to finish the game with stitches (like some sort of demented Hansen brother)! It was awesome TV!
• John Epping suddenly became the wizard of curling, winning a slam this weekend and once again looking like one of the top teams in the world (it had been a while).
• Rachel Homan looks like she will win every single game she plays until the Olympics.
• All kinds of great stories in Quebec curling to talk about – from the resurrection of Guy Hemmings, to Desjardins winning Baie d’Urfe while playing with 37 different brooms, to less teams signed-up for Women's Provincials then the Glenmore Day ladder.

All of this going on, and I could not manage a blog until now. All of this prime material just sitting there – and radio silence from this blogger. It was killing me.

Which brings me to the topic of today’s blog: Curler Burn-Out.

I am seriously burned out this year. My team played a semi-aggressive schedule this season: if memory serves it was 7 spiels together, and my guys played a couple more up in the Saguenay with a spare.

The idea, as is the case every year, is if we play more, we will play better. More spiels = More experience = more money = better shot at going to the Brier = We are Awesome! So we signed up for a lot of spiels. we filled every weekend we could. 

But here is the challenge. Life gets in the way of our best curling intentions. We have families. We have kids. We have girlfriends. We have jobs. We have wives with jobs. We have kids activities. We have travel for work. In short, we have LIFE!

The fact is, this year I have not had a quiet weekend or weekday since the summer. The choice to curl competitively while trying to manage the other stuff just felt harder this year than usual. Throw in a couple of personal issues here and there, and you have the recipe for CURLING burnout.

Here is what is looks like:

• You feel like you are throwing the rock perfectly, yet you miss a lot.
• You feel like you should win every game, but you don’t.
• You lose to some teams you should never lose to.
• You get angrier than you should.
• You come home from spiels feeling more tired and more angry than when you left.

If you suffer from these symptoms, ask your doctor: Is Curling All the Time right for you?

I have a feeling that I was not alone on my team in suffering from this ailment. In Baie d’Urfé I tried to cure us of this with one of the known cures for curling burnout: Tequila. I think it worked.

But I think the best thing for us will be some rest. I think watching the Slam teams every weekend on TV makes it worse. Because we know they are curling every weekend and practicing every day, the Tier 2 (or 3 or 4) teams like us feel like we need to curl our asses off to keep up.  We need to add more spiels. We need to always be out there.

But here is the rub; for most of us there is a law of diminishing returns on curling more. And I think we definitely hit the top of that curve this year. It seemed like the more we played, the worse we got.

The truth is that there is no way to keep up with the top teams in the country anymore while holding down a real job and taking care of a real family. Fortunately for the guys on tour today, there is now significantly more money and sponsorship on the table, so that being a full-time curler for at least part of the year is an option. I don’t remember having that choice when I was 25! It has made the great teams that much better. And it has widened the gulf with the rest of us. For sure I can still play against the top teams and – on a good day – even beat them. (In Gatineau, we went 4-3, along the way beating a couple of teams who list their careers as “Full-time Curler”) But to beat these guys consistently, you need to be out there every weekend. And you also need to be not burning yourself out the rest of the time!  

I think I have suffered from this before without being able to recognize it. I think it is not a coincidence that I usually do poorly in Charlevoix: it is at the tail end of a period where I am usually in shit at work, in shit with my wife and in shit with my kids (this one hurts a lot).

So my new motto heading into provincials this year is BALANCE.  A lot of practice. But not so much that it gets in the way of other things. I know this is not the recipe to get me to the Olympics or the top 10 on the CTRS, but maybe it can get me to a Brier...

My broom also works as a rectal thermometer - here let me show you!

Broomgasm has finally reached its zenith this week, with a somewhat confusing statement from the World Curling Federation.

Without releasing any testing data, the WCF has extended their ruling essentially banning Hardlines used on the right side (not inverted) at all WCF sanctioned events for the rest of the season. They also have suggested that we now need to take out the clear plastic sheet in the broomhead. I think. I have read the statement twice, and not being an industrial engineer - I am not really sure what all of this means.

Some other highlights from the statement:

• Brooms need to be “Commercially available” as of this week. So if you are making your own broomheads in your basement – they are banned too! Although I am not sure what the definition of Commercially Available” is. If I make broomheads with sandpaper in my basement, but show that I sold one to a few guys at my curling club – is this “commercially available”?
• The fabric now has to be directly on a cushion. So no more plastic, wood, titanium, kryptonite or uranium inserts in the head that could affect the ice. I think this might include foil – but to be honest I am not sure. (unless you are an industrial engineer – the statement is a bit confusing).
• No Hardening or Stiffening agents are allowed. I guess this means no more Viagra, Cialis, oysters or Generic imitations are allowed in your broomhead.  They may still be consumed orally by your sweepers, but if their sweeping lasts for more than 4 hours, they should consult a physician.

Seriously what does all this mean?

My read in that the WCF is buying some time, because they still do not know what to do.  They have found some bizarre scientific way of defining how a Hardline is manufactured in order to ensure that they are banned  unless used inverted.

However their statement is rather confusing. I think it also means that the Norway Pad, the EQ pad, the new Performance Head could also fall under this ban, depending on how they are made. Do they have plastic (or any other material) inserts? I really don’t know.

I am hoping the WCF can put out some kind of translation for teams – listing which commercially available heads are allowed – and in what manner (inverted or not – with plastic inserts or not). Until then, I am just a bit confused.

So what does this mean for those of us still sweeping with Hardlines?

I have prepared this helpful guide for Hardline customers all over the country, with some handy responses you can use if somebody accuses you of cheating.

Club Curlers: 

Keep using your broom – on the right side. The ruling only applies to WCF sanctioned events, and is really just a temporary measure because they do not know what else to do.

Response if someone calls you a cheater:

“Yes – I am using a Hardline, and it is an awesome broom. As a matter of fact, it also works as a rectal thermometer! Let me show you.”

Tier B -  Competitive Curlers – but not at WCT level

If you are playing somebody for money, or playing in a playdown to get to a National Championship, I think you need to invert the fabric.

Response if someone calls you a cheater: 

“To comply with the rules, I am using my Hardline Inverted. The same way I used YOUR MOTHER inverted last night at the hotel!” Extra effective if you say this with a Sean Connery Accent.  

(just kidding – so please do not flood my comments section saying that this joke is inappropriate. I already know it is)

Elite-Level Competition:

If you are playing for a lot of money – or at a Provincial level or higher. You will need to invert your fabric – or use the new complying heads that Hardline has made available for WCT teams.

Response if Someone Calls you a Cheater:

“Yes, my broom does amazing things. It also works as an ASSHOLE DETECTOR.” *then point your broom at the accuser and make beeping noises with your stopwatch.

Some things that I have learned in all this:

Sweeping technique matters. We always knew that corner sweeping and snowplowing worked – but now we have shown that if you do it with a more abraisive broomhead you can better manipulate the rock. Most competitive curlers have known this for a while. (Before Hardline existed, Glenn Howard’s team essentially invented the “Switch” because of this, so that the guy sweeping on the high side could influence the rock and make it curl more).  Snowplowing or dumping has always been frowned upon, but now seems to be fair game. Maybe we need to bring back some of the sweeping technique rules against corner-sweeping and snowplowing that used to exist in the rulebook.

A  lot more people than I thought make their own heads. I have been surprised to find out how many competitors modify or manufacture their own broomheads. As of today – they are now out of business – if they are playing in any serious level competition. So you can toss out all of those custom made heads, and be prepared to send some $$$ to the recognized manufacturers.

Regardless of what type of broom you use, we are in this situation because a few people are using brooms in a way against the accepted physics of the game.

If you are switching heads or brooms between shots , if you are using a broom that you believe is damaging the ice or if you are sweeping to make a rock stop or to make a takeout curl, you should stop doing this. It is against the principles of the game, and makes everyone look bad.

Mary-Anne Arsenault called out a Hardline team that was doing this last week in Ottawa. I think she makes a compelling point. However – I hate to tell you Mary-Anne, but I have played against a few teams this year who are using the same techniques with non-Hardline brooms. If you have a broom with an abraisive pad, and you corner sweep high side with the curl, you can make a hit curl a bit more!

A Closing thought.

This has not been fun.

I really take it quite personally when people call into question my integrity. I had the pleasure of having a World Champion call me a liar to my face, and suggest that my team was not good enough to be as effective sweepers as they were. (btw – the asshole detector in my broom started beeping at this point).  I am hoping this statement will at least provide some temporary closure on the accusations and bullshit that has been levied at the Hardline teams.

Charlevoix:

Me and my Hardline broom are off to Charlevoix next week to compete in the biggest spiel in Quebec, and I am seriously looking forward to it. This is my first year back, after 4 years off (due to the Mixed Nationals, and getting elbowed in the throat last year just before the tournament!)  Prior to this – this tournament has been my “bête noire”, a tournament that I just could never do well in. If I had put the money that I have spent in Charlevoix in an RRSP, I would be able to retire at 55, (instead of my current estimate of NEVER).

I have given sufficient time for the curse to have lifted! I have sacrificed a live chicken, and a virgin (hard to find in the curling world!). Thought about sacrificing my firstborn, but I am kind of fond of him. We have performed the appropriate rituals.  

Gods of curling – pray for us. Amen.

Broomapalooza - part 2

Wow.

I never thought #Broomgate – or #Broomgazzi – or #Broomapalooza would get the attention that it is getting. This is crazy. I hear it is going to be on CBC national news tonight. Seriously.

I wrote a blog last week calling bullshit on a lot of this – in my usual friendly, joking tone. And it has gone crazy since. I feel the need to write a bit more, especially because I think some of the parties involved ARE NOT acting in good faith, and this seems like the case of one company trying to put another company out of business.

If you are offended by the term BULLSHIT, I suggest that you stop reading now, because I use it about 100 times in this post. There is an industrial level of Bullshit being generated on this discussion, very little of it fact-based, and a lot of it coming from parties that have a direct financial incentive to skew the debate one way.

So let’s talk about a few things:

1. DIRECTIONAL FABRIC.

Here is what I can tell you, as a longtime Hardline user, and a reasonably knowledgeable curler.

Hardline Fabric is NOT DIRECTIONAL. You can talk about the abrasiveness of the fabric – but there are no lines that direct the rock one way or another. Although I have never seen the BP version, I hear that if you rub it one way – it feels different than the other way. So I guess the shag carpet in my parents’ basement would be directional fabric. Or the brush I use to get dog hair off my suit jacket.  A Hardline is not. If you are saying it is – I call BULLSHIT. Show me proof.

I will tell you what I know from experience. A brand new Hardline performs differently until it is worn in. I think this has more to do with the way it fits on the head, or the malleability of the foam. But a brand new Hardline is not particularly effective as a broom. It gets wet. You usually have a bit of snow on the edges. It is not very effective at making a draw go further (which as a skip, is kind of something that I like!). I don’t think it SLOWS DOWN THE ROCK, but I can’t say I have really ever tried. If you are telling me that you can slow a rock down with a new Hardline – I call BULLSHIT. Show me proof.

Here is a pic of a used Hardline head (although admittedly it was was used by an aging skip sweeping 6 feet at a time).

You can see that the edges wear first (note the darkish ring). I think this is what causes the sharpness at the beginning. The “direction” of the fabric has nothing to do with it.

According to my current sweepers, and my longtime lead Mike Kennedy (no – not Mark Kennedy) – the “sharpness’ usually lasted about half a game – then they would return to “normal” and perform like a typical curling broom. I suspect that this sharpness likely makes them a bit more abrasive, so therefore one sweeper using a new head and corner sweeping against the curl could probably make a rock fall. I guess this is the “joystick” effect that everyone is talking about. To be honest, I have seen the same effect with other pads – like Norway pads or even Performance pads do when they are brand new. It is what we used to call “good sweeping”. I suspect that the players have seen this too, as competitive teams playing with Performance-type heads change heads pretty much every game, if not more often to have this effect.

My teams have never really benefited much form this effect with the Hardlines - because we did not see it as a benefit. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I like my sweepers to be able to drag a rock further when I am drawing against 3 in the first end, as opposed to holding a hit straight. I am sure McEwen and Caruthers probably like the fact that they could hold a hit well with a Hardline, but not sure they would always use brand new heads for this reason.  

Gushue took it to another level this year. They allegedly switched pads on different types of shots (although I did not notice in the game I played against them). They would have a brand new "sharp" head on a hit and roll – so they could better manoeuvre the rock with a “sharp” head. I never saw him sweeping to slow a rock down. They switched to older “normal” pads on draws so that they could actually be effective. I agree this seems to be taking things a bit far. So okay – let’s ban the practice of switching heads between shots. One head per game! I think this rule would impact all of ONE team.

As I mentioned, I played Gushue at Cornwall. I did not see his rocks doing anything that unusual. I did not notice if he switched heads. But if people are freaking out – then fine – let’s accommodate with that rule. Let’s ban switching broomheads within a game. He is the only guy doing this anyway.

But should we all agree to ban Hardlines altogether because Gushue pushed the envelope? BULLSHIT.

Balance Plus

So Balance Plus comes out with the Blackhead Directional broom of death that basically destroys the ice to prove a point. People have been sending me the videos of them fudging a rock around the ice – and then say “Hey Mike – here is proof that we should ban Hardlines”. BULLSHIT.

That is like showing me a video of the Atomic Bomb at Heroshima and saying “look at this video – therefore we should ban all firecrackers!” BULLSHIT.

Balance Plus and Team Howard are also shamefully sending emails to their entire curling address book saying that nobody should use or sell Hardlines. (I had it forwarded to me by a friend of mine in Ontario) Call me crazy – but isn’t that libel? I am no lawyer – but maybe you guys should think about that before hitting “send” next time. Especially when you have a direct financial benefit in having your competitors’ products banned. 

I do not accept the impartiality of Balance Plus or their representatives in this discussion. They are shameless broom peddlers, using nefarious smearing tactics to trash one of their competitors and try to put them out of business. Shame on you guys. Stop it! 

They are working to put Archie and Stan out of business, plain and simple - and are getting pretty close to accomplishing their goal. If this stream of bullshit results in a wider ban, or an official rule change, then Hardline is done - and we will all have to switch back to Goldlines or Balance Plusses.

If anyone believes this “integrity of the game” bullshit they are peddling to try to get this accomplished, then my sister has some lovely swampland to sell you in Florida. (BTW my sister really is a Real Estate Agent in Florida – if anyone is looking for a winter condo J ) 

There are some big dollars at stake for the parties involved here – so keep that in mind when you read anything (including this!).

2. HYPOCRISY:

The letter signed by 22 teams is a bit too much for me. Talk about a witch hunt! By my count, out of the 22 teams that signed, 4 are Hardline teams: Laycock, Gushue, McEwen and Caruthers. The other 18 teams basically signed a letter that said YES, “I think we should ban my competitor’s brooms!” The fact that they lumped Hardline in with that Balance Plus MONSTROSITY is BULLSHIT.

And now Balance Plus has put out a Press Release calling Directional Fabric the end of curling as we know it – and saying that Hardlines need to be banned. And for fun they also imply that the Hardline teams have won because of the Directional Fabric.

If I were Mike McEwen or Reid Caruthers, I would be seriously offended by a press release that basically implied that they have won last year because they cheated. I call BULLSHIT here too.

Don’t ask me to sign a Bullshit letter saying that I will play the game with integrity and not use Directional Fabric. 

I always play the game with integrity. And I am pretty sure Reid and Brad and Mike would say the same thing.

If I believed I was cheating by using the Hardlines, I would not use them. I do not need a letter to say that, but thanks Nolan.

So what am I going to do?

Okay – first of all, anyone who ever questions my integrity in this sport can GFY (anybody who wants to know what that stands for can write to me personally!). I have played the game honestly for as long as I have played. If you want to accuse me of cheating – say it to my face. I dare you.

That being said, I like Hardlines. Not because they manoeuvre rocks in some mysterious way, but because they do what a good curling broom is supposed to do: drag my rocks further on draws and hold hits straight when I need it. They are light and fast. I would very much like to keep sweeping with them without being labelled a cheater.

Some teams are saying if you turn a Hardline pad inside-out, then they are okay. In other words they are less effective, but still pretty effective. I think that is what Caruthers and McEwen are doing this weekend in Manitoba – but not sure. My team tried it, and was not enthused with the feel.

I will be playing David Murdoch next week in Gatineau in my first game, who I believe signed the letter. I will be playing with my Hardlines one way or another. Maybe inside out - maybe not.

What has to happen next?

1. IMPARTIAL TESTING!!! The bullshit to facts ratio in this debate is 1000:1 right now. Maybe Curling Canada needs to step in, and please involve the manufacturers. Let’s get some facts before we change rules, or submit to bans. Please do not send me more bullshit videos of magic brooms. The fact that you can put a piece of sandpaper on a stick and destroy the ice to make a rock fall is not proof of anything, other than you have too much time on your hands.

2. Can we stop trying to put Hardline out of business? Archie and Stan set out to make a better broom, not an illegal one. They do not deserve the treatment they are getting. They are not cheaters. They are not scam artists. Can Richard Hart and Team Howard and Balance Plus stop putting out emails calling for Archie and Stan’s head on a stake? Let’s take a deep breath and remember that nobody is trying to ruin curling here.

Last point -

I really hate writing blog posts like this. 

I like writing fun, pithy stories about curling. This is no fun. I am writing this because I believe that Archie and Stan are getting screwed in this broomgate - broomgazzi bullshit. I can’t sit on the sidelines here. 

Plus now I feel like if I show up and play next week in Gatineau with my Hardlines, people are going to point and say “cheater”! I just can’t stand the hypocrisy of it all.

You can say that I am biased – and of course I am. Arch and Stan have been very good to me and my teams (both Mixed and Men's) over the past few years.  But all I am appealing for is for facts and reason to dictate the terms of this discussion, not BULLSHIT and smear tactics. 

btw I  NEVER delete any comments from the section below except for spam - so have at me!

Magic Brooms! Not a Harry Potter reference - just a Curling Blog.

We are very early into the curling season – and we already have our first controversy to talk about!

And I did not see this one coming – it is magic brooms!

There was a player meeting this weekend at a big tournament in Toronto – with some players suggesting  that the new brooms should be banned (!), as they are removing all the skill out of the game.

(My apologies to the non-curlers who read my blog - this one is for the hard-core curling fans)

A number of curlers are now suggesting that Hardline and the new Balance Plus brooms used on tour are “too effective” and are allowing sweepers to effectively manipulate the path of the rock significantly – taking the skill out of the game. Big guys like Hebert, Kennedy and the Harndens are saying that the new brooms are eliminating the advantage they have by being big and strong.

The controversy emerged after the first Grand Slam- where Brad Gushue really pushed the envelope on this – by using some unconventional sweeping techniques on his way to successful results.

So what do these magic brooms allegedly do? The big impact seems to be on soft weight takeouts. If you throw a hack weight hit – they are suggesting that the new brooms can hold the rock absolutely straight (or even make it fall) by sweeping against the curl – in other words by having the sweeper on the “low” side sweep in the opposite direction that the rock is curling in.

Gushue believed in this so much that he does not even let the other guy (the guy on the “high” side) sweep – as he harbours the belief that sweeping the other way will make it curl. So only one sweeper is sweeping hard, while the other guy just stands there looking goofy.

Gushue has also taken it to different level by changing pads between shots. Their belief is that a new pad is more effective on hits, but an older pad is more effective on sweeping a draw further. So his guys carry multiple pads in their pockets, and switch based on the shot they are playing. Not sure if anyone else is doing this.

So what do I think of this?

Full disclosure – I am a user and am a promoter of the brooms in question – my team has been with Hardline for a couple of years now – and we are very happy customers.You will notice their ad in the banner of my blog.

Having said that – I call BULLSHIT on this.

I have played against Gushue this year. I have talked to Mike McEwen (who also uses the Hardline brooms) this summer. I have played with the brooms for years.

The Hardlines that I play with are not joysticks that control the rocks – they do not have magical powers.

I definitely think both McEwen and Gushue are very effective at keeping rocks straight – thus making hit and rolls and runbacks easier. (Unfotunately, my team has not been able to use the brooms to win $100,000 yet, but we are still working on it).  

Gushue and Caruthers and McEwen make a lot of hit and rolls. I agree with the notion that new brooms are FAR more effective at keeping hits straight but they might be LESS effective at dragging a draw further (they just seem to get too wet) and they perform better after a few games.

When we played Gushue in Cornwall, I thought he had some effective sweeping – but it did not seem to be doing RIDICULOUS things to the rocks. He had pretty effective sweeping last year too – and it certainly helps that his sweepers look like the “after” pictures in a Bowflex commercial. But I would not have said his rocks did anything crazy. I read an article quoting Wayne Middaugh saying that he could make a rock back up four feet. I have never seen this with the Hardlines – and I am assuming that this is a misprint and he meant 4 inches. But they are claiming that the new Balance Plus brooms can do magic like that. If that is the case – then maybe we should look at banning these.

But here is the thing – broom technology is not new. This has been happening for years. The EQ pads – developed in partnership with the CCA to give Canadian teams an edge at the last Olympics – used a piece of foil in the heads to heat up the pads –making them more effective at destroying the ice! The Norway pads use a coarse, ribbed material. I think when either of these pads are new – they could likely have been used to have similar effects as what we are seeing now at holding a takeout straight by sweeping against the curl.  

What has changed however is the ability to change pads between shots. While players used to change pads within a game – it was usually only once per game – and was only to put a new head on - because new heads are more effective. They did not change heads based on the type of shot played. Now teams can change pads in seconds depending on shot selection by snapping on a new head.

***

The other problem is sweeping rules have been pretty relaxed over the years. The rules used to be specific about a “back and forth, sweeping across the face” movement – now that has been stretched to the limit.

Ben Hebert got called out for “dumping” in front of a rock (which is scatological way of saying he lifted his broom and dropped debris in front of the rock to slow it down) by Richard Hart in a Slam final a few years back - So the rules have pretty much been – “as long as you are not damaging the ice – significantly – then anything goes”.

***

So do we need to ban these?

My answer is No. 

I think this debate sounds a lot like the same debate that happens every time a new piece of golf technology comes out.

   

So we need to ban Titleist Pro-V’s? How about big-head drivers? Or belly putters?

I think some rules might need to come into effect that restrict a players ability to change heads within a game – much the same way you can’t use a Pinnacle to hit your drive further and then switch to a soft ball when you are approaching the green. Switching heads from one shot to another just seems wrong – and seems to be an awkward advancement for the game. I am old enough to remember playing against teams that would sweep hits with a brush, and then draws with a corn broom (damn I am old). Switching brooms or heads based on the type of shot played seems wrong. It did not make sense back then…and rules were changed to prevent this.

But I do not think you can go backwards and ban the brooms. I have played with Hardlines for a few years – and have not seen anything crazy to suggest that I have an unfair advantage. Admittedly we do not have the team budget to play with new heads every game…but my rocks do not do magic tricks. I wish they did.

Furthermore, I am not sure how a ban can work. We would have to ban types of synthetic heads? Or only certain materials? Would we have to play with brooms that only have a limited coarseness? Do we all have to back to hair brooms?  Would it only be banned in competition? Only on tour?

Apparently my spies tell me that the players meeting did not settle anything, and seemed more about posturing than problem-solving.

I am not sure where this issue is going – and I get the impression that the debate is being driven as much by competitive marketing then it is by facts or science.  

Uh Sorry guys. (The Blog is Back!)

IT’S CURLING SEASON!!! Put away those flip flops, hide the golf clubs, empty the pool and start stretching!

For Team Fournier, The season starts next week in Brockville…er wait I mean Cornwall at the Shorty Jenkins Classic. For those of my readers who do not who Shorty Jenkins is… Cmon – you don’t know who Shorty Jenkins is? He is the King of Swing, Canada’s premier Iceman who sadly passed away a few years back. Shorty was basically the guy who figured out that curling was more fun with rocks that curl, so he used sandpaper to make rocks grip and curl more. For this innovation – he was heralded as a genius, and even given his own Tim Horton’s commercial.

https://youtu.be/gDrjQ3sQ0bk

This year the spiel has been moved to Cornwall CC, due to some technical problems with the compressor in Brockville. BTW – if you are in the Montreal area – this might be the best chance for you to see Canada’s best men’s and women’s teams competing. Here is the schedule:

http://www.brockvillecountryclub.com/shorty/

The Shorty Jenkins has typically been the opening of the competitive curling season – a laid back event where the country’s best competed, and also got to play some free golf at the Brockville CG.

But this is no longer the start of the competitive season. Not even close. For some reason, the curling season now starts on Labour Day weekend in Toronto. Then off to ironically-named Paradise Newfoundland for the 1^st slam of the season – this weekend.

I really just don’t get the desire to move the season earlier. I LOVE curling. And I think curling on Labour Day is a bit crazy. Plus we have to convince curling clubs to put ice in when its 30 degrees out. Why? Do we think that starting earlier makes us better? Are we more competitive as a curling nation because we are dumb enough to stand in a meat freezer when everybody else is at the beach?

Maybe I am old fashioned – but I believe winter sports should be played in the winter. Or at least fall. Brockville used to be a nice transition into curling: and you got to take a few last licks with your golf clubs before putting them away. But now starting in Brockville makes me feel like I missed the boat! I will be playing my first game of the season against Scotland’s David Murdoch, who will be on his 3^rd spiel as I try to remember the difference between an inturn and an outturn.  

***

 Uh - Sorry

Okay – small problem. Was in a grumpy mood last March watching the Brier and wrote a nasty blog about Team Jacobs. It never really occurred to me that Team Jacobs might actually read my blog. But this blog got shared and re-shared and went kinda viral, and ended up getting a big pile of reads. And if you read the comments – it seems to have gotten some people rather irate. So Brad and Team – if you do happen to ever read my blog;

a)      Sorry!

b)      I am not a hater. I was writing ironically. Well not really ironically – but you know what I mean.

c)       I really didn’t mean to imply that you guys were steroid users. I am sure your muscles are the result of many hours of lifting really heavy things and making squinty faces at the gym.

d)      I am sorry about the tattoo joke. If I won an Olympic Gold medal I would probably tattoo it on my forehead and numerous other body parts.

e)      I am sorry about mocking your celebratory grunting. Clearly this is a generational thing. I think I am from the generation of curlers that tried to look like they expected to make the shot

f)       I still might cheer against you guys this season – but in a friendly, playful kind of way (like the way I will cheer against the Jays and Leafs).

g)      Please don’t hurt me.

h)      If I do happen to play you – I will make sure to not kneel or drag any body parts on the ice! I know that makes you guys angry. And we know what happens when you guys get angry:  https://youtu.be/0lvPn_LOn2o

***

The Tier 2 Slam?

So there is a slam going on in Paradise Newfoundland…but there is also a Tier 2 Event. This is WCT's effort at involving more teams, and trying to create a feeder tour for the Grand Slam Events. The Tier 2 event is for teams that do not qualify for the slams, but are looking for a way to break into the big events! Some familiar names and teams from the East – Gratton, Dacey plus a few teams that made the trip from far away.

I wish I could have gone. Not sure how to get invited to these…I guess I need to be a little higher in the World rankings. Anyway – seems like a good initiative – and more of these events are needed! I hope the Slams keep putting these on – and hopefully in more easily accessible locations and after a few teams have had a chance to curl a bit! But this a is a start! Hope they do not judge the success of the event by the lack of interest in the 1^st one. So far it is the only Tier 2 event on the calendar. If it is the only one – then it is a shame!

***

Curling Quebec Excellence Camp.

So CQ did something very cool this summer. They invited some of the top curling coaches in Canada, as well as Quebec’s top coaches to give a curling clinic to some of Quebec’s top Men’s women’s and junior teams.

Big thanks to Bill Tschirart and Jim Waite who did a number of presentations both on the cold side and the warm side of the glass. We worry a lot about getting our bodies in shape for curling season – good to be reminded to get our minds in shape as well.

It was awesome to see 3 of Quebec’s top women’s teams (Mann, Larouche and Perron) all stepping up their games by adding coaches, psychologists, nutritionists, stylists, hypnotists, spiritualists…whatever it takes to get them to the next level. It seems like so many teams are working so hard and getting the help they need to compete at the top level. Hopefully we will see some results this season and at the Scotties.

*** 

Our sponsor is kicking some ass. Hardline Curling, makers of the Icepad, are on a serious run of converting the top teams in the world to their use their brooms. They have added Laycock and now the mighty Brad Gushue, adding to the credibility of their message.  

I can guarantee you, as McEwen and Gushue kick off their Olympic Qualifying run, they would not be playing with these brooms unless they were 100% sure that they are better than the alternatives.

***

I tried, I really tried. I watched a Blue Jays game. I tried to say YAY when they scored. I talked about how good Price is, about Donaldson’s catch, about Tulo and how good they are. But I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to cheer for a Toronto Sports team.  I have been living in Montreal too long. Best I can do: I won’t cheer against them. Much.