If Han Solo played in the Mixed....

Tough weekend in Gatineau. Played reasonably well, but came up just a bit short against Mark Kean in the C-Qualifier.

For those of you who don’t know what a C-Qualifier is – it is basically your last chance to make it to the money round of a big tournament. Many tournaments are triple knockouts; that is you are alive until you lose three games, then you are out. The last eight teams alive get to play in a single knockout event on the Sunday, with the quarter final losers getting $3500 in this case, and the winner pocketing a cool 10 large.

So basically, the C-Qualifier is as close as you can get to making money without making money. So losing a C-Qualifier feels like getting kicked in the balls with a  pair of steel-toed work boots. We did not play badly, we were actually 1-up coming home on Kean (who is on paper the #9 team in Canada right now), but I missed a key shot, and we lost.

The spiel was eventually won by Brad Gushue. The only other Quebec team to have fared well was Jean-Michel Ménard, who is tuning up for his upcoming Olympic trials. He lost the semi-finals to Rob Rumfeldt from Toronto.

Some random observations from a weekend spent in an arena:

- Where have all the Quebec teams gone? In a spiel held in Gatineau, only 5 of the 32 teams were from Quebec. Shocking. Are there really that few curlers left? I played teams from Ottawa, Nova Scotia, Manitoba and Toronto.

- There was a woman’s event, and an open as well. I must say however that the draw is kinda weird: Each play in a 3-game round robin with only the winner of each pool advancing. Inevitably, everyone at 2-1 finishes tied, and then shootouts are required to determine who plays on.  So in other words, you drive to Gatineau, win two games, drop a close game, and you could be going home.  I think they need to fix this. Maybe drop a team and have 3 pools of 5 instead?

- Quebec teams seem to be struggling a bit this year. Reid, Lemay and Desjardins made only brief appearances at Gatineau, not playing particularly well in any of the games that I saw. Gagné and Gagnon took the weekend off.  

- Had fun watching Brad Jacobs lose to Ménard. Lots of broom banging and roid-rage going on. (I am joking – I believe that Jacobs and team are of course clean – and they were actually randomly drug tested by the CCA this weekend!)

On a side note, I still find it funny that curlers need to be tested for performance enhancing drugs. Reminds me of a story: in the  selection process for the 1988 Olympics (where curling was a demonstration Sport), curlers were sent to an “orientation camp” where the CCA evaluated the top culrers of the time. While at the camp, the players were asked to  fill out a questionnaire.

So John Kawaja (3^rd for the Great Ed Werenich) sticks up his hand and asks the CCA Official:

“Excuse me. Question 17 asks if we have ever used any illegal drugs. Is marijuana considered an illegal drug?”

CCA Official: “Yes. Of course.”

Kawaja: “Ok thanks.”  - long pause...

Kawaja: “Ed wanted to know!”

****

The Quebec Curling Tour Championship is this weekend in Trois Rivieres. The top 4 seeds are Menard, Ferland, Lemay and us. This is essentially a mini-Quebec provincial, except I am there! Will try to avoid the kick to the balls with the steel-toed workboot this weekend. Usually, the women’s tour championship is on at the same time, but the event could not attract enough teams to be held, with competitive teams preferring to play in Kemptville.

The event starts Holloween night. My absence from the home on Halloween will surely not help in my candidature for father of the year. Special thanks to my wife for picking up after this one. Competitive curling is definitely rough on the household this time of year, requiring inordinate sacrifice from spouses and in-laws.

As for my Halloween costume, I will once again dress as a bald toe-tucking curler; Jonathan Mead. I just have to figure out how to look shorter.

***

Looking forward to the Mixed

Thanks to all at Glenmore who came out to our fundraiser for our mixed team! We now have some off-ice winter jackets that make me look like Han Solo in the Empire Strikes Back. I think I will get Kennedy to carry me around all week on his back! Might look like this:

 

The Mixed will be held at the Rideau Curling Club in Ottawa, Nov 16-23. For those keeping track, I will have been to two Nationals – total distance from my house 200km. The results can be found at www.curling.ca as usual.

The Mixed is an excellent reminder of what is great about curling. It is a competitive sport, played by competitive people, but with a great deal of sportsmanship and fun. The on-ice is intense, challenging and fun to watch; the off-ice is social, entertaining and also fun to watch.

What does my curling team look like again?

The blog is back, baby.

The leaves are turning brown, a brisk chill fills the air and I had to turn the defrost on in my car last week. That can only mean one thing: its curling season.

For some, the season started in August, with a number of competitive summer spiels in Ontario starting in early September.  Officially this is week 7 (!!!) of the competitive curling season. WTF?

I fail to understand why people want to start curling in August and early September. I love curling. But it seems to me our winters are long enough, without having to spend weekends in September in a curling club. What I don’t understand is why competitive curling essentially ends in January (unless you are going to the Brier), but starts in the summer.  

As a matter of fact, I have not even seen my men’s team since January. I don’t even remember what they look like. I will have to carry a team picture around to recognize them.  I remember there was a short guy...a redheaded guy...and..ah screw it ....they will find me. Guys: I am the tall bald guy at the bar wearing a Balsdon shirt.

Our season starts this Friday at home, at Glenmore, in the Indian Summer Bonspiel. Or, I guess, the Native Summer bonspiel...to be politically correct. This is a local spiel, but has attracted a few big teams with the lure of good ice and a decent draw, plus what is a fun atmosphere at Glenmore. Ferly and Phil Lemay are there, as are a few other solid squads – should be a fun weekend. Until I find my legs and get some feel...I will look like Bambi on ice.   

So what is new in the world of Quebec Curling?

On the men’s side, no changes to the top few teams. Menard will stay the same, as they prepare for the Olympic pre-trials in November.

Phil Lemay has his team of increasingly experienced young guys ready for another season of cash spiels.

Martin Ferland has the same team, although they are allegedly playing a very light schedule this year, after playing a zillion spiels last year. These guys played in everything. I think they played women’s spiels in drag. They played in junior spiels. They played in turkey spiels. In the end, they might have burned themselves out.

My team has stayed the same. Steeve Gagnon has stayed the same.

Really, only Bob Desjardins changed teams, experimenting with Fred Lawton and Pierre-Luc Morrissette, Martin Lavoie as Bob tries to convert new followers into the cult of Desjardinism.  Also Francois gagné seems to have picked up a few guys and has a solid team.  

Women’s curling? I have no idea. Check your programs!  Everyone changed teams. I don’t think there will be one returning team at provincials. Don’t ask me for a prediction; except to say that I hope whoever emerges can put on a good show at the Scotties, held in Montreal this year.

Where have all the curlers gone?

This is the time of year where curling clubs roll out the red carpets and welcome potential new members to the game that we love. But it seems that every year fewer and fewer curlers come back, with not enough new blood to fill the ranks.

Why, at a time where the sport achieves record TV audiences as well as Olympic recognition, do clubs have so much trouble getting people in the doors?

A few reasons are always floated:

• People no longer have time for a sport like curling that takes time away from their families
• It’s too expensive.
• It does not provide the physical workout of say....30 minutes in the gym.
• It is difficult to integrate new members – and they suffer from a steep learning curve.

I don’t buy it. Curling has a lot going for it:

• Low risk of injury
• Sport that challenges your mind, as well as your body
• Sociable! A sport that includes a social life.
• You can get reasonably good in a reasonable amount of time.

 I think we lack salesmanship. Curling clubs are still mainly volunteer organizations that do not excel in marketing and sales. 

So here is my challenge to you curlers: bring a friend out. Help out your club. Think of that one person you know that would like curling, and would like to hang around a curling club. Bring them out. Buy them a drink.

Second challenge: if you are an experienced curler, and have some time...take a team of newbies into a local spiel or branch event. Show them the most fun part of curling: road trips!

***

Lastly, Canadian curling men have put out a sexy calendar to raise funds for curling. You can order it at www.menofcurling.com, for $30.

Of course I was asked to pose in the men of curling calendar, unfortunately when I offered to pose with nothing but my "brownie", I think they misunderstood what I meant.

Finding my Inner Curling Ninja - and Some Thoughts on Sportsmanship

First of all, my apologies for not having blogged lately.
As much as I love curling, I have needed a little time away to get some other life projects going...I needed to find my Inner Ninja.
But once the Scotties and Brier appear on TV, it's hard not to get a little excited.

Thoughts on the Scotties
So I watched a bit of the Scotties. While I did not make any predictions before, I swear I would have picked Rachel Homan to win it. Really. I picked her last time she was there a few years ago (check it out – it’s in one of my past blogs!). And I am picking her for next year. Every so often, a team comes along that helps evolve the sport - that raises the bar for everyone.  
Watching Homan play at the Scotties is like watching Spain play against Canada at soccer: they are just not playing the same game as the other team. Rachel will call the same sort of game as Kevin Martin,  Koe or Stoughton. They play runbacks for big ends. They gamble with the hammer, and play safe without it. They execute. Jennifer Jones is the only other team that comes close to this level of play, and I still think they are a bit behind. Homan’s style intimidates weaker teams, they force them into making mistakes.
I think Rachel’s win will be a godsend to women’s curling.  I have never understood why women’s teams seem to play a safer, more boring game than the men. From Laliberté in the 90’s, to Colleen Jones and even Jennifer Jones today, women’s curling was just not as much fun as men’s curling to watch. It really only got interesting when they missed. With her victory, Rachel’s team is going to force other women’s teams to step up their games, and learn how to play offense, make runbacks and learn how to gamble more.
Some random thoughts:

·         I very much liked the accelerated format, with more games to watch on the weekend, and hardly any morning draws. This should be the thinking in more events.

·         Was I the only guy who got freaked out by the 3D kleenex box logo in the ice? By some Pavlovian magic, it was making my nose run.

·         I was a little disappointed that the Quebec Team finished 3-8. I did not see many of their games, but from what I did see, they were struggling to make 5 or 6 shots per end. But I like this team a lot, and the fact that they get along so well bodes well for multiple appearances together. Hopefully this year was a stepping stone to bigger and better things.

·         I like the bronze medal game. I didn’t watch it. But I like the idea.

·           

The Brier:
Looking forward to the best week of curling on TV. Yes, the Slams have a stronger field, but the Brier will always be what matters most to the curling world. It also provides us with a rare glimpse of the full country. Every province is represented, and every province always has some yahoo waving their provincial flag in the crowd. I can think of no other event that brings together participants from every province and puts them on such a stage. (btw- this is why relegation is such a shitty idea).
Why is the Brier so great?
While there is some money involved, the Brier still remains a contest of amateurs. They play for pride, not for a salary. Almost everyone has a day job - and their jobs provide us a feel of what it is like to live in different parts of the country. The guy from PEI might be a fisherman, or a bar owner. The guy from BC might be a police officer, or a teacher. Curlers at the Brier might be rock stars for a week on TSN, but we are reminded that they are just like us, wherever they are from.
And the Brier, like few other sporting events, provides a brilliant stage exposing human drama. Inevitably, someone who is not used to being in the limelight will have hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people watching his most public success or failure. The emotion, the fear and the anxiety of a key shot with everyone watching are as real as it gets.  

Predictions?
The Brier will likely be a three team race between Stoughton, Martin and Howard. Yawn. The “big 3” will be tough to beat as usual, and I expect one of them to win. I like Howard to repeat.
But a bunch of teams - JM Ménard (Qc), Gouchebag (NL), Virtue (Sask) and Brad Jacobs’ team of bodybuilders/curlers(N.Ont) will fight it out for the 4^th playoff spot. It should be a compelling week of curling in front of a raucous crowd in Edmonton.

A storyline to watch:
A lot is being made of Brock Virtue, the team that will represent Saskatchewan. They are already being dubbed “The Bad Boys of Curling”.
For those who do not know the story, in the Saskatchewan Provincial, 2nd Chris Schille actually got thrown out of the semi-final game for unsportsmanlike conduct, after kicking a rock and swearing. This has made the rounds in curling social media. And of course, Schille immediately took to Twitter to moan and complain.
Many have claimed that officials were over-zealous on this occasion. After all, lots of guys swear and kick a rock every now and then after a missed shot. Heck, if I got thrown out of every game I have sworn in, I would not make it past the 2^nd end in most games. But in this case, I side with the officials, and let me tell you why.
The story is that Shille kicked the rock and swore after the opposing skip made a nice double take-out to score. There is a big difference in being mad at yourself for missing, or even at your own teammates. But when you throw a tantrum when the other team makes a shot – to me that is a sign of disrespect. And apparently it was not the first time these guys had acted that way.
I have played a lot of very good teams in my life. Many of them treat the teams they play against with respect. They will complement a nice shot. They remember the days when they were not famous, or champions. Martin, McEwan and Ménard come to mind as teams that will always treat their opponents with respect. This does not mean that these guys do not get mad and swear and wham a broom at times, but they usually don’t do when someone else makes a shot. They get mad at themselves.
But some other big teams I have played often seem to act as if they are entitled to win. They make weaker teams feel like they do not deserve to be on the ice. They throw tantrums when getting beat by a weaker team. It is a form of intimidation, and it sometimes it works. But I think it goes against the unwritten code of sportsmanship that governs the sport.
For all of the crappy, greed-infested examples of selfishness and trash-talking that we see in professional sports, curling offers us the possibility of something better: a sport where you can respect the people you play against.
So, I offer a tip of the hat to the official who called Team Virtue on their unsportsmanlike behavior. Let’s hope they learned something. Here is a link to a little video in case they need a refresher course on sportsmanship:

A lesson in Sportsmanship:
(a must-see video about a High School basketball player who passes the ball to a mentally-challenged player on the other team. Guaranteed to draw tears.)


The Mixed
Montreal Mixed playdowns starts this week. Team Fournier will be back in action to defend their title, with the hopes of making it through to another week of fun and curling at Mixed Nationals in Ottawa next fall. Unfortunately, the secret of how much fun we had last year seems to have gotten out, with more sign-ups in the Montreal region than last year - thus, a nasty double knock-out regional with 16 teams.
But my team is up for the challenge. We even have new team uniforms, with the hope of intimidating the other teams.

Here is hoping I can live up to the Superman crest, that Mike can find a Bat-Inturn on his bat-utility belt, that Animal and Kermit can return  to their form during the Muppet Show.

My Interview with Oprah

The week before Lance Armstrong’s controversial interview with Oprah Winfrey, a lesser known “athlete” appeared on her show. Here is a transcript from the episode.

 

Oprah: Thanks Mike for coming on my show. I must admit I don’t usually interview curlers.

MF: Thanks for having me Oprah. I felt the need to come on your show, and set the record straight about our curling season, about my use of Performance Inhibiting Drugs, as well as discuss the upcoming Quebec Curling Provincials.

Oprah: Excellent. You guys had a brutal end to your season this year, stinking it up at regional playdowns, and not making it anywhere near provincials. Is that right?

MF: Yeah, thanks Oprah. We did stink at regionals. That is why I am sitting here with you, and not practicing for Quebec Provincials.

Oprah: Well, let's start with the tough questions. Did you at any time during the regionals take Performance Inhibiting Substances?

MF: Yes, I am afraid I consumed 2 Ashton Poutines during the weekend. And after we were eliminated, I consumed a considerable amount of alcohol.

Oprah: Did you consume Rye?

MF: Yes

OW: Did you consume beer?

MF: Yes.

OW: Did you consume Vodka?

MF: Yes

OW: Did you consume Rum?

MF: Yes.

OW: Did you consume Anything Flaming, like Sambukah?

MF: Yes. (sob)

OW: Anything else?

MF: Yes. Once we got back to the hotel, I still had images of our last game in my mind, so I drank the contents of the hotel mini-bar, as well as a bottle of Aqua-Velva I had in my shaving kit.

OW: It was that bad a weekend?

MF: Yes Oprah. One of the worst. We lost back-to-back-to-back games against teams that we should quite frankly have destroyed. We missed draws. We missed hits. We missed peels. We missed sweeping calls.

OW: Wow, was there anything you did well?

MF: Well, we showed up on time for our games. And we threw the right colored rocks. And nobody fell down!

OW: So how do you explain your performance?

MF: Well Oprah, sometimes you have a bad day. And of course the Ashton poutine. I blame the poutine.

OW: What did you do in the weeks following the defeat.

MF: I have been in hiding. I have not shaved since the regionals. I have not eaten anything but white rice and Diet Coke. I traveled to Nepal, to seek wisdom and clarity of thought in a Buddhist Monastery. I have taken up monastic chanting and yoga. I have become one with the universe. I think all of this will eventually help my inturn.

OW: So what is next for you guys?

MF: Well Oprah, a lot of soul-searching. We need to ask ourselves the hard questions. Why did we play so badly when it counted the most? Why did all of our hard work and practice not help us? And why did my imaginary girlfriend have to die of cancer the week before the playdowns?

OW: That certainly is a lot to deal with. Are you going to watch the provincials?

MF: I suppose I will follow along on my computer.

OW: Any predictions?

MF: Well. ..

Ménard is the heavy favorite on the men’s side. But they do not have the aura of invincibility they once enjoyed. If they manage to elevate their game to where they were a few years ago, they will win. But based on their play this year, it could be a struggle.

Ferly (Martin Ferland) has looked strong at times, weak at others. They have been horrible at the last few provincials, but have stuck it out and are back for another kick at it. To be honest, I think I see these guys winning it this year. They are due.

Lemay has a strong team, but they seem to have moments of extreme incompetence. I think they still need a few more years before they are ready.

Defending champ Desjardins has looked like a train wreck for most of the season. Bob will have to stand on his head if they are going to be anywhere close to a final.

Hemmings? Jeez. I can’t believe it would be possible. Have not seen enough of Guy to assess whether or not he still has game.  

Steeve Gagnon has looked very good this year at times, especially for a team that plays less often. They are my dark horse pick for the week.

Other than these 6 teams, not likely.

Oprah: What about the women?

MF: Well, smart money is on Marie-France as usual.  I like Allison Ross and Julie Hamel. Not sure if Eve can back to her form from a few years ago, especially with a new team.

Oprah: Mike, thanks for coming on my show. I know it must have been difficult for you to talk about these things, so soon after the defeat.

MF: Well Oprah, I have never been one to shy away from the tough questions. And good luck with that cycling interview next week. I know this interview will be a tough act to follow.