Curling Withdrawal

- It is officially springtime in Montreal:

The winter dog poo is peaking out majestically from its blanket of snow; the Libya-like potholes cover the roads like acne on a teenager; and curling season begins its slow and agonizing journey into summer repose.

- The Brier is over. I must say - I already miss good curling on TV.
The finals were a bit of a yawn-fest- with Stoughton and team curling a ridiculously good game. The game was not even as close as the score indicated.
You have to feel a little sorry (just a little) for Glenn and the boys, who can now corner the world silver market with all of the 2nd place trinkets they have amassed.

The World Curling Champinships are not nearly as entertaining as the Brier and the Scotties - although Women's Worlds certainly has a number of very watchable teams- but not for the curling.
The World Men's is usually somewhat exciting, but Stoughton will likely be boringly better than most teams there. Given that the event is being held in Regina, likely with the same rocks as the Brier and on similar ice conditions - look for a relatively easy win for Canada this year.
The World's have produced relatively few memorable moments over the past few years, with the exception of the infamous Martin throw-through that surely will go down as one of the worse curling calls in history.

- The silly season is definitely in full swing. A number of rumours and strange team configurations are being discussed in Quebec and elsewhere. I will provide an update when the dust settles - but some big surprises are coming. Spoiler alert: apparently, making it to the Brier is no longer enough to keep a team together...

- I will try to blog a bit from the road this weekend in Toronto. I am heading up to curl in a drinking, eating and joke-telling festival (I think there is also curling...) with some guys from Glenmore. This is definitely not a competitive venture. Goal will be to not injure myself. The event is held at the Royals, organized by bunch of characters who usually make the trip to Glenmore at Easter for the Intermediate. Reciprocation is what I am all about.
You gotta love a spiel with a steak BBQ night and an Oyster party.
(Although the combination of raw Oysters in a men's only spiel seems somewhat homeoerotic and misplaced to me. Hope I am wrong) 
Theme song for the weekend:  Spirit of the West

- The Seniors is on in Digby - last time I checked the Quebec team was 3-2, and leading in their game against PEI. Robbie and the boys are a solid team - would be nice to see them near the finals.

I noticed Brad Heidt is in the field. For those who do not know Brad Heidt, he is a Shrek-like character from rural Saskatchewan (I guess all of Sask is pretty much rural) who is famous for chewing out his 3rd in the 10th end of the Brier final. I have played against Brad only once, and it is as close to a curling brawl as I've ever been. This was especially scary given that his neck is about the same width as my chest. Too bad the seniors are not televised.

- I need to go shoe shopping. I know this sounds horribly lame, but I need a new pair of curling shoes, my Asham's are coming apart at the seams. Anybody have a good recommendation? Keep in mind that I am a toe-tucker who uses about 2 inches of his slider...I am seriously considering buying a decent pair of shoes and making myself a pair...
On a related topic, I am not a big fan of the $300 curling shoe movement that has emerged in the last 5 years. I think curling is going the way of the $500 driver and the $60 per dozen Titleists in golf, with some ridiculously expensive "innovations", that really don't help people curl or golf any better.
Having said that, I slice and pull hook with a $500 driver and hit my Titleist Pro Vs into the lake/woods as well. I blame marketing.

The Brier: Bronze Zombies and Geek Shuffleboard

More random Brier thoughts:

- Smart money would have bet the farm on Kevin Martin not winning the Brier this year. Rumours of their impending breakup are likely true, and teams about to breakup never play well together.
Just look how well Martin did in the Brier just before he broke up with his previous team...(I believe that was the year JM won).

- So I am watching the bronze medal game on TV. Looks like a funeral. You would think these guys would at least try to put on a show for the fans...instead of an extract from the zombie curling league.
I have seen more adrenaline and passion in the day ladder at my club. There might be a couple of hangovers on the ice...

- I have little sympathy for these primadonnas not wanting to play a bronze medal game. Most curlers have had to get up on Sunday to play the C-Semis in some crappy open spiel for the chance to win a toaster in the finals - we all did it. they should have to do it to!
I mean they are playing for 10K...you would think you could extract a little excitement.
Play it up for the crowd. Play it like an exhibition. Show the fans that you are capable of having fun. Have a guy from the crowd come down and call a shot...Have fun. The game needs it. I think it will become a good addition to the Brier.

- I think PEI should not be fined for quitting early. C'mon. It must have been painful to watch. They could have passed a hat around the crowd to pay the fine. Nobody wants to watch Howard throw 2 ends of peels....Put them out of their misery. I think they should have fined them if they had kept playing...for cruelty to spectators! It was bad enough people had to watch 5 ends of that "game".

- 3-8 - not a great performance form the Quebec team. I know they are rookies, but I think we all expected a little better. Let's see where these guys go from here. At least they looked good at the banquet, which apparently had a 70's theme.

I am still a bit peeved that the Toronto Sports Network never saw fit to show any of their games. I know they were never in contention, nor one of the favorites, but at least a morning game...I mean C,mon. I had to watch Gratton twice (snooze), Gushue, Martin and Howard more times than I could count and they even featured Shawn Adams at least once.
Thankfully, they did not show any PEI games. Those guys were truly awful. I have played some good teams from PEI before. Apparently, they were all unavailable this year. Seriously, they would be no better than 4-3 in this round of the Glenmore A ladder.

- Shot of the week - the double raise double that Kevin Martin made to beat the Territories. He deserved to lose that game...that was an amazing shot! That must have made the guys from Northern Ontario throw up a little bit..

- Prediction for the final: Manitoba squeaks out a win. I think they are due - especially Mead who still loses sleep from the Olympic Qualifying final in 2005, where they lost to Gushue in part due to a missed sweeping call from Mead.

- So rumour is that JohnnyMo is leaving Martin, and Nicholls is leaving Gushue...could we see a JohnnyMo / Brad Gushue combination taking a run at the next Olympics? You heard it hear first.

- Just saw Nicholls' tear-soaked final interview...Christ the guy is barely 30. Give me break. He is taking a couple of years off...he is not retiring forever.
I don't doubt the sincerity of his tears, just feel a little perspective is in order.
Maybe he is vying to be the next Scotties spokesperson.

- OK - I am a big fan of developing curling...but if I see that Rocks and Rings commercial one more time I am going to go JohnnyMo on my TV set.
Will shuffleboard and sweeping on a gym floor actually help create a positive image for curling? - or will it just make the sport seem geekier? The kids in the commercial look happy, but maybe its because they got to play shuffleboard instead of climbing the rope and doing sit-ups in gym class.
If you want to get kids curling, my experience is that you have to get them out on ICE. I have seen  (and participated in) a number of programs run at curling clubs by volunteers for local schools that surely create a more positive impact on the game than a one-time visit from the shuffleboard nerds with the signs and the plastic rocks with wheels. Glad to see our CCA contributions are so well spent.

- So what happens to Kevin Martin if JohnnyMo leaves the team? What about Stoughton if Mead is done...will Howard take another run at the trials? Expect the announcements to come out in the next month or two, fast and furious, as the Olympic qualifying run starts next season. If the big guys are going to change teams, now is the time.

- I will miss fakekevinmartin on Twitter after the Brier. I wonder if he will keep it up.

The Brier...Rolling up the Rim and Green Soccerball flags

the Brier:

OK - firstly - I am not the @fakekevinmartin on Twitter. But that guys is hilarious. Definitely a follower. Wish it was me...

The Brier is my favourite TV sports event of the year. It always produces entertaining games, and I love hanging around a curling club watching the evening game with 30 or 40 armchair skips.

The Brier has been fun to watch thus far, although there are few surprises with the 4 teams pulling away from the pack (Nfld, Alta, Ont, Man). I think they are a notch above the rest - and will more than likely be the 4 teams in the playoffs.

Some observations so far: 

- Where did Brad Gushue dig up that lead? It is hard to believe he could not find a better curler on the Rock than that guy. Jeesh. He should get Russ Howard out of the broadcast booth with a fake Nfld driver's license.

- The Quebec team continues to struggle after a 2-0 start, dropping 6 in a row (and counting). Likely to finish with 3 wins at most. They needed Frank and Bob to be hot all week; they have not been. They look somewhat outclassed. Glad its not this year where the bottom teams would have to play each other for the right to have their province come back next year! (although I think they would beat PEI if needed)

- Martin, Stoughton and Howard look to be a notch above Gushue. Of these 3, hard to pick a winner. The Bear is obviously the favorite, but I think I am cheering for Stoughton. Its been a while since a toe-tucker has won the Brier...we are due.

- Is it just me - or do we need some more variety of teams? Where is the next big team? Have been watching Howard play Martin for years now...in the Brier...the Grand Slams...I am kinda hoping JohnnyMo leaves Martin as rumoured - at least it will shake things up.

- I made my son a chicken fajita yesterday. I put a green soccer ball flag on it. He smiled almost as widely as the dumbass kid in the M&M commercial, then dumped the contents of the fajita on his lap, and then stabbed his sister with the flag. I guess it really needs to be the M&M fajita.

- PEI would not go undefeated in the Glenmore A ladder.

- The TSN team doing the morning games is quite inadequate. I have an idea: for the morning games - TSN should bring in random armchair skips from across the country to do the colour commentary. It would at least add some entertainment value to the coverage. And who really watches the morning games anyway (apart from consultants "working" from home).

- If Newfoundland plays Alberta in the final - which team would Randy Ferbey want to lose more?

- Agree with fakekevinmartin, it is hard not to dislike the guy from Saskatchewan with the Justin Bieber haircut. C'mon.

- Chara deserves at least 20 games for almost killing Max Pacioretty. Bruins vs. Habs in the playoffs could be a classic. again. (not curling related, just needed to be said)

- Rolled up the rim this week and won!!!!....a donut. Carried around an empty coffee cup all week, then lost it before getting the free donut.

- Seems to me this Brier needs a story. It needs something to happen to add some excitement and variety. It need some controversy....or some trash-talking. It needs a rivalry. Most of all, the game needs another character. It needs Brad Heidt cracking himself in the head with his broom and then reaming out Mark Dacey in the finals. It needs Paul Gowsell stoned wearing crazy pants. It needs Guy Hemmings with mangled hair re-arranging the scoreboard when the lights went out. It needs Eddy Werenich.

I like Stoughton, and Martin and Howard but jeez these guys get dull after a while.

- What is the point of Jennifer Jones sliding across the floor in the grocery store to get her box of Scotties? They should re-shoot that commercial so that she cuts in front of Cathy O in the line-up at the cash.


will comment again at some point this weekend.

Death Spirals, Drinking Lessons and Senior Peeling

A few things to talk about this week  -forgive me for being late on this one...

1. The Scotties. I am not usually a massive fan of the Scotties. In past years, I have often found the curling during the week relatively boring - but this year seemed different, better.

There were some great stories, and the final was an awesome game. Amber Holland showed a great deal of a little thing called guts. She made the big shots, and looked calm doing it.

Ontario fell short of my prediction, but still showed some impressive play - and tried some shots you usually don't see in women's curling. The shot that ended up killing her against Saskatchewan was a brave attempted double raise pick that would have broken the game open. She was millimeters away from making it, and instead gave up a costly steal of 2, which they never recovered from. But the fact that she even tried that shot was remarkable, and that kind of play will help elevate women's curling in the future.

The Cathy Overton - Jennifer Jones game lived up to the hype. That was a classic case of a skip saying "You will not beat me." Her team was outcurled by a solid 15% (and it felt like more) - she won that game on her own - out of sheer will.
That game makes you realize what it takes to win - and it isn't just a pretty slide. Cathy O is a competitor.
Both Her and JJ were remarkably civil in the press all week when talking about it, but make no mistake there was no love out there, and I am guessing there was some serious celebrating after that game.


2. Rosemere:

Last weekend I played in the Rosemere Cashspiel. This is a truly great tournament. There is great prize money, a solid field of teams, amazing food and warm hospitality. The one element lacking is the ice conditions, which are truly horrific. But all in all a great spiel.
The "favorites" (Ferland, Venne, myself) ) all took a beating, and the final was won by Fred Marchand.
My team performed like a team in a death spiral, losing 2 truly horrific and uninspired games of curling. I am thinking I should just call it a a season and curl drunk for the next few months.

3. Speaking of Curling Drunk...

I realize that curling has made great strides in distancing itself from the perception that it is a drinking sport. It is now an Olympic sport, there is absolutely no drinking allowed in juniors even when they are of age. But it seems to me that this zealous prohibition has taken away one of the main elements that kept me curling in my early 20s once juniors was done: the parties.
I hold very fond memories of tournaments such as the Glenmore Intermediate, the Kenogami spiel and even the Last Chance at Lachine. The competitive season was over, so it was time to relax, have some fun curling and drink a little too much.
The game seemed more social - and strangely think it taught me some valuable life lessons.

So here is a list of lessons learned while curling in drinking-oriented spiels:

1. No matter how drunk you get or how late you stay out - you still have to get up and play your 9AM game. If you can't do the time - don't do the crime!
2. Play hard on the ice - but drink with your opponents after.
3. Avoid drinking games with anyone from the Atlantic provinces (especially Newfoundland).
4. Be generous - buy a round now and then. Try to make sure everyone is having a good time.
5. Know your limits: especially when the evening turns to Tequilla or Vodka shooters. This lesson is usually best learned through extensive vomiting.
6. Avoid Peach Schnapps shooters at all cost. (that was an ugly night)
7. 2AM is not a good time to call an ex-girlfriend - looking to re-connect.
8. Taxi drivers do not find you as funny as you think you are.
9. Best cure for a hangover: Gatorade and McDonald's Hash Browns.

Seriously - while these may seem like trivial lessons to learn, some of the above lessons are often the basics for networking and building good relationships later in life - and even at work.
I don't think we are doing a service to juniors, or to the game when we try to make them take the game too seriously. I see more kids being sick of curling by the time they get out of juniors - less and less continue into adult curling. Not to sound like I am advocating underage drinking - I just don't think there is any value in being the booze police. Work hard - play hard. We need to teach the social side of the game as well as the technical side. Good coaches know that.

Curling in and of itself is just a game - but its the social side of it that makes it a truly great way to pass the winter.

4. Oops, I made the seniors angry:

Last blog - I made a reference to senior men being lousy at take-outs, and was taken to task by Lauren Steventon - the current provincial champ, and challenged to a peel-off.

Imagine my surprise....firstly in finding out that there are seniors who actually know what a blog is and can figure out how to use the comment button...and secondly that Lauren would have the misplaced confidence to think that he could outpeel me!
Three words Lauren:  Bring it on.


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Look for another blog entry later this week to discuss the Brier, and that goofy kid in the M&M commercial who gets giddy over a crappy green soccer ball flag on his frozen chicken fajita.

Scotties picks

OK - since so many of you have been asking...and my last blog entry did not include any...

Some picks for the Scotties:

1. Rachel Homan is by far the best women's team in the country. This is the best team to come out of juniors since John Morris. 
This team is insanely better then anyone else there. They peel like men (and I mean good men, not like a seniors men's team), and Rachel calls a good aggressive game. Rachel also looks like she has ice water instead of blood. They are calm, and look more mature than older more seasoned teams.
They will win. They have been beating women's teams while playing juniors for years now, they are ready to win at this level.
Yes I know it is easy to pick an undefeated team half way through the week - but I picked them before the week started. This will be the next dominating team in women's curling.

2. Jennifer Jones. Yes she is off to her usual brutal start, but when the chips are on the table, JJ is still the best clutch curler I have ever seen. If she makes the payoffs, she will make the finals -  But will lose to the Rachel Homan juggernaut.

3. Amber Holland (Sask). They have all of that solid trials experience, but are not yet ready to win a Scotties. Give them a few more years. They will make playoffs, then falter.

4. Marie-France: Not sure she has the horsepower to win it all this week, but look for them to finish strong and squeak into the playoffs, despite a slow start. Will likely have to play a tie-breaker against Kleibrink.


Kelly Scott - not this year. They look awful.
The maritime teams all look kinda average -there will not be a Heather O'Rourke / Erin Carmody again this year.

Some other thoughts:
I like the way Kelly Scott calls a game, I like the way she throws...but I just can't take the voice.
She sounds like the Church Lady from SNL.

(tried to find a link to a Church Lady sketch on you tube or the web - NBC keeps a pretty tight reign on this!)

Side note: I am amazed at how happy Kelly Scott and team seem to be when they are losing. I am not advocating broom banging or rage-a-holic behaviour...but TSN showed them right before the opposition threw an open hit to win...And they were chatting at the hog-line, laughing and making stupid jokes. Seems to me they are lacking a killer instinct this time around. (But who am I to criticize the on-ice demeanor of a 2-time champ.)

Happy Squirrels and Bitter break-ups

Started watching the Scotties this weekend...surprised that Marie-France is already 1-2.
Definitely some entertaining curling to watch, although I certainly saw a lot of misses in the games I was watching.
This is the first year I am watching in HD. It is definitely better to watch the game, although I must say that HD is not flattering to all...

I always enjoy the commercials during the curling season.
From Strauss to Tim's, from Capital One to Grey Power - and you usually see the same commercials over and  over and over again.
But this year there is a special treat; a commercial by the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers (clearly a fair-minded and unbiased source of information), that explains how the big oil companies plant a tree or two to make the world a better place.
And I thought burning oil was bad for the environment! Silly me. The squirrels in the commercial look happy (well you don't actually see the squirrels, but the guy says that they are having fun).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXtHFPGXjlY&feature=player_embedded

Their new spokesperson is way better than the the CAPP's previous spokesperson:

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As curling fans head into the season of good TV curling; another season begins across the country. It is the season of the team change.

This is the true season of hope...the season of salesmanship, the season of networking. Teams break-up, re-form. Unusual and unheard of teams emerge (Few would ever have predicted Gagné and Desjardins together).

Many outside of the world of competitive curlers do not understand why teams change so often, or why it has to be so complicated.

Let me try to explain it:
You will spend over 1000 hours together with you teammates during a competitive curling season. 
During the peak season, I spend more time with my teammates than I do with my wife.
Finding 3 guys that have the same level of commitment, that have a sufficient level of talent, and that you do not want to strangle after a five hour car ride is a very tall order.
Not surprisingly, after a long season many try to improve their lot by picking up a new body and changing the chemistry. Of course everyone knows that to build a successful team, you need to stick with the same guys for a while. But the temptation of the unknown, of the unfamiliar is a powerful calling.

So any big changes coming in Quebec curling? Too early to tell.
It is hard to believe that all of the big teams will stick together; and the rumour is that Danny B is looking to retire for a few years. So there will surely be some player movement in the weeks to come. Usually, the big teams tend to lead the process, as other teams wait and see what will happen with the Menards, Ferlands and Reids before making any big moves.

So expect in the next few weeks to see some changes. And it will not always be pretty.

Curling teams are notoriously bad for firing players in an insensitive manner;
- I found out I was no longer curling with Guy Hemmings by noticing that our team had entered a big spiel in North Bay - without me!
- The guys from Buckingham once fired Ted Butler 12 hours BEFORE they were about to play in the provincial final. (although I'm not sure Ted knew he was fired)
- Gushue and Ferby (both usually nice guys) have been taking shots at each other ever since their break-up a few weeks ago.Ferbey and Gushue article. Ouch.
- As of yet - nobody to my knowledge has ever been fired in a Blog.

As the song goes: Breaking up is hard to do.

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Some plugs:

2 charity events are coming up in the next few weeks that are worth your time.

1. Kurling for Kids (www.kurlingforkids.com)

This is a Montreal-wide fun day of curling that benefits the Montreal Children's and Ste-Justine hospitals. It is truly a great event run by the most sincere and dedicated volounteers you will ever meet. There is curling followed by a dinner, and usually a tear-jerking speech or two. (I'm as stoic as the next guy, but sick kid stories always make me cry like a 5 year old girl)
It is also a great way to introduce new curlers to the game, as the format encourages you to bring out new curlers. It is held March 26th at most curling clubs around Montreal


2. Curling for Leukemia Day

This is a new event held at TMR curling club March 6th. One of the organizers is Big Luc Chevalier - who can be reached at luc.chevalier@videotron.ca for details. There is a link on the Curling Quebec Facebook page.

The reality is that we all get a lot out of this great game, and we should all take the time to give a little back to those who need our help. Plus - both of these days are usually a lot of fun.


3. I have been asked to do some recruiting for a university study on curlers of all levels. Not sure if it is related to alcoholism, or the insanity involved in driving 10 hours to lose 3 games in some god-forsaken small arse-hole of a town. Either way - if you are interested, contact Gail Casey at  gcasey@wisc.edu. Apparently it involves a 30 minute Skype interview.

Pon-Pon and Javelin throws

My apologies to my loyal readers for missing a week...

First of all – I think I little applause for me is in order for being pretty solid with my predictions for provincials...

On the men’s side – I had picked Francois Gagné as my dark horse pick to win it all – and he did.

I only saw one game – but Frankie was on fire. His team played well in front of him – but the finals were very much the Francois Gagné show, with Frank making everything, including a spectacular raise pick in 9 to set up a steal of 3.

Here is the link – if you want to see the shot. The Shot

Wow. Absolute pistol. As my old teammate Sebastian “Snaps” Robillard would surely say: “That was SICK!”

He also made a crazy draw against Serge Reid in the semis on Saturday night, burying around a rock in the top 8 against 4(!) and setting up a steal with no guards. Clutch.

I have been curling with or against Frank and Christian for over 20 years now - these guys deserve to go to a Brier. They have lived curling.

So Frank goes to the Brier, and with him goes Bob Desjardins playing 3rd. Bob is definitely the Phil Mickelson of curling, a guy who has deserved to go to the Brier for a long time but has never pulled off the big win. He has lost a lot of finals...including one where he blew a 4 point lead against Guy Hemmings.

A lot of people give Bob a hard time. His nickname is Pon-Pon, and it is not meant to be flattering. Admittedly, very little about Bob is “normal”. He is somewhat socially dysfunctional, and rubs people the wrong way sometimes. But the truth for those who know him well is that he is a passionate proponent of the game, and has worked harder than anyone to get to the show. He has a genuine love for all things curling, including the people who play it. I honestly think the game could use a few more Bobs - but alas there is only one. 

Expect this team to be entertaining, and likely fan favourites at the Brier. The boys play with a LOT of emotion on the ice (some might even say too much), but it will be a refreshing change from watching Stoughton make a 20 foot runback triple and not even crack a damn smile.

I wish them luck. If Frank and Bob stay as hot as they are – expect to see them above 500, and possibly creeping into a playoff spot. As is the case with most highly emotional teams – if it goes well it will go very well, if it goes bad...

Speaking of emotion, I hear Curling Quebec will have to pick up a new scoreboard, after one of the boards was assailed by a javelined Performance broom from Marty Ferland. Here is a video of the broom throw:

Oops - wrong video.

On the women’s side, my pick to win (Chantal Osborne) fell just short, losing in an extra end to Marie -France Larouche. MF will of course represent Quebec well again at the Scotties, and has a very good chance of playing on the weekend. They are playing very well - and I promise to stop with the Star Trek jokes.

The event:

I think the combination men’s and women’s event has to be called a success. While the weekdays saw relatively few in attendance, the weekend draws were well attended. The curlers I have spoken to seemed to have had a great time with it. The women enjoyed playing in an arena - and the men enjoyed watching the women play in the arena.  

I went to see some games on Saturday - and there was a very good atmosphere. I think a similar event held somewhere around Quebec City or Montreal would draw some serious crowds. Could have done without the freak snowstorm on the drive home!

What else is there to speak of?

Strangely – I am curling in a Calcutta at Glenmore this week.

For those of you who do not know what a Calcutta is, it is basically a week of gambling, and I believe there is some curling played as well. It is definitely good for clubs to get all of their members to mix it up and play in something fun for a week. It definitely gets the members talking, and exposes many new members to playing with fun skips who actually know what they are doing.

Hopefully I can make some cash - but will enjoy it either way. Betting on club-level curling is strangely entertaining. I found myself screaming from behind the glass last night, trying to implore a guy to throw a draw instead of the hit he was calling. He called the hit and lost - costing me a $73 exacta. Damn.

Other notes: 

- The junior finals were on this weekend. Apparently the men's final was won a great shot. Unfortunately I had slipped in to a chicken-wing-induced coma following a Super Bowl party, so I only heard about it after.  Whose idea was it to run the finals at the same time as the Super Bowl anyways?