mmmm. pie. mmmmmm

Well the season is wrapping up…time to pull the golf clubs out of the garden shed, time to stick the brooms into the cellar and write another blog!

First – some curling gossip and random thoughts:

(in an effort to be hip - I have included some hashtags (#) to try to appear cool to younger curlers #lameattempt.

- Martin Ferland and Phil Lemay are stepping back for a year! They are taking a break to recharge their batteries. The rest of the team will pick up a body and keep at it! #fakeretirement

- My crazy mix of Saguenay curlers and a Montreal Anglophone is back at it for another season. (unless they have fired me and have not told me yet!) #3bloquesetunbleuet

- What is up with Pat Simmons? When did he get good? Was he always good and we just did not notice?  #cinderellastory

-The US Team at the Worlds might not win that often, but its pretty cool that they have Ned Flanders playing second. #okleydokely

- I will keep my ear to the ground at the Glenmore Intermediate this weekend to bring my loyal readers any breaking news.  By ear to the ground, I mean that I will likely pass out and actually have my ear on the ground at some point.  #jelloshooters

- WTF is going on in Ontario? Just about every team changed. The guy who won the friggin’ province (Mark Kean) could not convince one of his teammates to stick with him. My man-crush Greg Balsdon is not playing with the Bices. Glenn Howard is treating next year like #TBT – with both Middaugh and Hart playing for him. Maybe Russ should skip!!! Is Ed Werenich the 5^th?  #sweepwithhammers  

-  Glad to see Max Elmalah winning the Mixed in Quebec – with a very nice team. They will represent us well. #MikeKennedydidnotwin?

- Apparently Mixed Doubles is going to be in the next Winter Olympics. I still maintain that Mixed Doubles is what you should order at the bar after a curling game – but if there is an Olympic spot on the line in what seems to be a pretty random game, then I might have to try out! As long as nobody expects me to sweep my own friggin’ rock – that’s just plain wrong.  #doubleryeandcokeplease

- Curious to see if any of the BIG teams will break up – after a few very disappointing seasons. (Koe?) #firelaing

***

Some thoughts on my last blog:

I read the Jill Officer post about all the mean shit that people posted about Team Jones after their loss in the World Finals. Shameful stuff. Good on Jill for taking it on.

It did get me feeling somewhat guilty about my last blog where I  hated on Brad Jacobs and Team. I will say that my intention was to point out that this team has become hated by some of the curling world (in the way that people hate the Boston Bruins). I might have got a bit too personal in my usual search for entertainment, and maybe a bit too preachy in my quest to save curling from itself. If I went too far, than I am sorry. And trust me when I say it is really not personal. I do not know these guys at all of the ice.

I do not hate any of those dudes personally. Yes, they may look like the kind of guys who make you want to leave the gym when they show up – but for goodness sake they are CURLERS – so they cannot be that bad in my books.

*** 

But...

Still not a big fan of the over-the-top MMA-like celebrations. But in the name of giving it a chance, my club team did a  “Team Jacobs Celebration Impersonation Night” in our last ladder game! My skip made an half-open hit for two in the 1^st end, and we went CRAZY. Fist pumps. CMONs! I have to admit, it did feel kinda good. It was liberating -  like running naked on the beach. But on the downside - we looked retarded. Our opposition, Mike Kennedy, was not impressed. It might have worked better if I actually had biceps.

***

A big thanks to Evan Mooney and the good folks from Lennoxville curling club for inviting me to be a guest speaker at the “Pie Spiel” banquet. It was such a great experience. If you need a reminder of what curling is all about, pick up a few guys and sign up for this spiel next year. Entry fee is all of $160. The highlight of the spiel is an awesome roast beef lunch – which is followed by dessert:  about 100 home-made pies. The pies alone are worth the $160.  They had every pie imaginable. I am glad my awesome Hardline Curling Pants (shameless sponsor plug!) have enough stretch in the waist!

mmmm. Pie.

A Guest Blog: JM Ménard shares his views on the Brier

This is a new one for in the house: 

A guest blog! From none other than the 2006 Brier champ - and the asshole that beat me in the Quebec final this year (and the Semi-final last year in case you are keeping track!)

But happy to turn over my space to him -  so enjoy!

In a previous blog I mentioned I was hoping to go to the Brier before it becomes the 8th slam...JM says I might be too late!

Dear Brier,

I’m writing this letter because I’m worried, worried about the long lasting relationship I’ve been fortunate enough to have had with you. The first time I became conscious of who you are was at the age of 13 (1989 Brier in Saskatoon). At that time, I was just starting up in the sport and was quite amazed with the coverage of the event. The more I was watching, the more I was getting into it… In the following years, while most kids were playing outside during March break, I was in my parents basement following this great event then heading to the rink to practice. I had a dream slowly building in me: Playing in the Brier one day.

It was an ambitious dream, and I quickly realized that lots of work and hiccups would happen along the way. Sacrifices would be numerous, but I could simply not stop before giving it a fair try. Finally, in 2003, my dream became reality; the Brier invited me to play!!! Including this year, I also had this precious invitation delivered to me on 8 occasions and feel blessed by these opportunities. You also allowed me the ultimate prize in 2006; handing me your precious Tankard and engraving my name on it.

I’ve always had the utmost respect for you but I’ve been noticing some changes over the past few years and as a friend, I find it my responsibility to let you know how I feel. I won’t be talking about the relegation as you already know my position on this (it shouldn’t exist…) but more on how the event is run. We used to be treated like Hollywood Stars for a full week making it difficult to go back to a normal lifestyle.  The event lived up to the expectations that had been building in me since my childhood. Now the event is looking more and more like your typical World Curling Tour weekend event. If you allow me, I will point out the numerous changes I’ve witness over the years:

Transportation: Until a few years back, every team had two drivers for the whole week, one driver for the team and a driver for the spouses and relatives. That was simply amazing and offered so much flexibility to team and family members. We also had the opportunity to develop a privileged relationship with our drivers. Now, we need to call a dispatch center to get a ride and family and spouses are on their own. With the dispatch center closing at midnight, I won’t even go on explaining how challenging it is to grab a cab when getting out of the Patch after midnight. I felt like Cinderella looking at the clock to make sure we got out of the building before midnight… When we arrived at the airport this year, my mom was traveling with us and the first thing she was told when arriving was: “Mam you’ll be on your own to get to the hotel”. What a great start to the event!!!

Rooms: Every team used to have 6 rooms for the full event, one per player (including the alternate) and one for the coach. This was simply amazing and it allowed each player to bring his family without disturbing other team members. Each room was also provided with a case of beer and a basket full of munchies. Tim Hortons coffee makers were also provided on a few occasions (a little challenging to bring back home but a great idea). Newspapers were also provided each morning on the step of our door. How great was it to start my day, a newspaper to feed on while conducting my morning business in the bathroom…

This year, we only had four rooms, therefore no family members decided to come over beside my mom. The active roster was therefore split in two rooms like we do in a regular curling event. As for the case of beer and the munchies, they’ve been a no show for a few years now and the newspaper is now non-existent meaning I have to modify my morning routine.

Per Diem: One of the great perks in playing the Brier was the allowance of a per diem to each player for the whole week. Until this year, it’s always been 850$ per player. This was so helpful and allowed players to play the whole week without taking any money from their bank account. This year, it was cut down to 550$, when you consider how many people WE, the players are bringing into the arena, it seems a small price to pay.

Sponsors Night-Opening Banquet-Closing Banquet: One of the highlight of a Brier has always been the Thursday night sponsor night. This was a great occasion to meet the sponsors and the other participants in a relaxed environment. An amazing finger food buffet was always present and beverages were free. This event is now, sadly, history…

Opening banquet: This aspect has not changed a whole lot over time but let’s say it’s not as glamorous as it once was. I remember the first few Brier’s I played in, we were piped in by a chorus of Pipers, now we are quickly brought in….. There use to be guest speakers and presentation of previous Brier winners, these days, there is an MC quickly conducting business…

Closing banquet: The closing banquet used to be after the final and was a final opportunity the meet our fellow competitors before heading home. A couple years ago, they switched it to a Brunch Banquet being held after the infamous bronze medal game (why the hell does that game exist by the way?) and before the final. It was a highend brunch with plenty to choose from. This year, they were charging 56$ for non team members for a buffet menu you could find at a local restaurant for 15$.....

Players lounge/room: At all the previous Briers I’ve had the chance to attend, there was a Players’ Lounge in the facility where players could socialize, eat, relax after a game. Back in the days, family members were also welcomed but that was cut short a few years ago. Last year in Kamloops, the Players’ Lounge went from being very comfortable and rooming to feeling like anchovies… This year: nothing, rien, nada...

Food between games: In the good old days, it was possible to get a hot buffet service or order food from a caterer between games. This year, we had two choices: a) Go to the main concourse of the Saddledome and have a Chili Dog or a greasy Double cheeseburger b) rush out of the arena after the game to get something to eat. Having tried option “a” in the past with limited success in games following this decision, we decided to go with option “b”. As you can imagine, Subway was a popular destination and I have yet to eat a submarine sandwich since coming back from Calgary. On the other hand, a visit in the officials room allowed me to witness they were provided with a hot food service and fresh baked pies…..

Jackets: In my first few Briers, jackets and team shirts were delivered to your room which was a classy move. The last couple of years, we have been directed to a room in the hotel where you are to pick up a box with your gear. This year, getting to our box was like going through a maze with numerous obstacles. We had to deal with Hotel employees not knowing what the hell we were talking about, wrong keys provided to us, closed section of the hotel were a janitor with all the keys needed to be called in before finally being able to get our stuff. There also the story of a team whose gear was misplaced and they started the Hot Shots on Friday with certain members of the team not having anything to wear….

I’m sure you now see my point, being invited to your event used to be the pinnacle of curling but as the years go by, I’m afraid all these good things we were once provided with will soon only be memories to tell our family and friends if nothing is done.

Regards,

JM Menard

Brier Recap; and why I suddenly feel the need to Navage my nose.

Brier Recap;

I really wanted to have something to rant about. Relegation, Team Canada, broomgazzi, the CCA (or its new moniker: Curling Canada), TSN dissing the Quebec Team. 

But I have to admit it: I just thoroughly enjoyed the hell out of the Brier this year. 

I was worried heading in. Maybe Warren Hansen was right, and the Brier is just not that big a deal anymore. the Canada Cup and the Slams offer better curling.

WRONG.

In the end, curling saved the day. The games provided all the drama, the tension and the strategy and the excitement that the sport can offer.   Once the Brier reached the playoffs, all the games became epic contests coming down to last rock, with drama and exquisite shotmaking. It was a Curling fan’s dream; it was emotional, and was won in an extra end with a draw to the screw.

Brilliant.

Some random thoughts, in no particular order:

• Okay, it takes a big man to admit he was wrong. So here goes. Team Canada was awesome, and fun to watch. In the end, they made it a better tournament. I know I said that this team did not deserve to be there, and they were certainly on their way to living up to that prediction, but they turned it around. The shift of Johnny Mo to 3^rd seemed to inspire Pat Simmons to skip just about the best Brier I have ever seen from anyone, and the rest was history.
• I have dumped on Johhny Mo before, but man he was awesome. He proved he is the best 3^rd in the land, and his energy on the ice made the game that much better and fun to watch. And he came out with some awesome new terminology: “Pat – put a rock here and it is Danger Bay for them!” Love it. Reference to a classic crappy Canadian TV series to describe a couple of rocks in the back 8 - awesome. 
• Relegation is still shitty. The only bright side is it might motivate Nova Scotia to get off its arse and run a better Provincial in an arena; so as to send the best team that can play under arena conditions (no disrespect to Mr. MacLeod – who was a fine example of sportsmanship).
• So-so week for the Quebec boys. I am sure they are disappointed to have finished out of the playoffs. The fact is they started the week flat (which might have something to do with Quebec Provincials being 6 weeks before the Brier), and they finished flat against Gushue and Simmons. Too bad,I was looking forward to TSN talking about how many out-turns they throw all weekend.
• I know Home Hardware is a great sponsor – but their tagline: “Homeowners helping homeowners with Expert Advice”. Really? Are you required to own a home to work there? What if you just rent? And what is this advice? By a round mop?
• Okay, I liked Dave Nedohin as a player, but he has some work to do on his commentary skills. Mudryk kept throwing him softballs, and he kept swinging and missing. He told endless stories of how he has played with against all of these guys before, and how good they are. Yawn. TSN might have been better to run the games silently.
• I do not understand Gushue’s last shot against Team Canada in the semi-finals. He needs to force him to one point, and has a chance to throw a back-line tap back to lie behind the corner guard, and instead tries to make a corner freeze on a corner-frozen stone above the t-line. This was a MUCH harder shot than the tap back, in my humble opinion. Instead he lined up the automatic double for Simmons, and that was that. (says the guy sitting watching on his living room couch)
• I love Vic Router (with Russ and Cheryl), but if I had heard him say BRUSH BROTHERS one more time I was going to switch to Guy on RDS.
• I need to get a Navage. It has been a dry winter in Quebec, and my nose feels like there is stuff up there from the cretaceous period. Not sure what the difference is between the Navage and my garden hose though. That and I suddenly feel the need to by some new farm equipment, and some chemicals to protect my lawn from Sclerotium (whatever the hell that is).
• Not sure if they did this at other Briers, but I liked the Team intros at the beginning with the walk-in music and the cheerleaders. Made it feel like an MMA fight. Already contemplating what my walk-in song will be. I am open to suggestions.
• Nice try TSN – trying to make me like Brad Jacobs. You ignored their boorish behaviour, you kept showing me shots of his newborn baby, and even tried to do a little 5^th end fluff piece about how much they love curling and each other. Nice try!

So on this subject, I have to ask…

Why do we hate Brad Jacobs So?

I was watching the 1-2 game Friday night between Brad Jacobs and Brad Gushue. It was an awesome display of curling. There were triples, button draws, touch doubles, drama and excitement right until the last shot.

I was also sitting with my iPhone; reading people’s comments on Twitter and Facebook every so often who were also sharing their impressions of the game. And what did people talk about the most? Was it the great shotmaking? The triples? The sweeping? The fan reaction? Nope, they were talking about how Team Jacobs reacted to making a semi-tough shot for 3 in the 5^th end, and how obnoxious their reaction was.

I can't find a link to it...so let me describe it:

It seemed like a cross between an NFL end-zone dance, and a woman going through childbirth. There was guttural, primal screaming; there were clenched fists. There were high-fives that looked like they would have broken my wrist. There was grunting that sounded like my bathroom on a Sunday morning after an all-day Saturday visit to a cheese factory.

The way this team celebrates has polarized much of the curling world.  People hate them. Some love them, but lots of people hate them. They certainly did not win any fans with the classless and disrespectful foot banging against Kean, and probably lost a few more with their over-the-top celebrations against Gushue in the 5^th end. By the time they were in the finals, Facebook posts and tweets all seemed unanimous in hoping that Simmons teaches Jacobs a lesson.

I must say that their celebrations turn me off.  But maybe I am a little too old-school. I come from the Vince Lombardi school of celebrating. Lombardi was the Green Bay coach who famously told his players; “If you manage to get into the End Zone, act like you have been there before.”

Watch this one: Laycock making a sick double-raise-double to keep his team in the game. Check out his celebration after. Classy.

Laycock Double Raise Double

The pro-Jacobs camp will surely say that this team is reaching out to a new generation of fans, raised on highlight videos of the best goal celebrations and reality TV – where over-reaction is a requirement. They will say that they are hated because they are winners. They will quote Taylor Swift: “Haters gonna hate, hate hate.” Maybe I am a just a hater.

But I don’t have the same negative reaction to watching other great teams celebrate - like Gushue. Or Ménard. Or Stoughton. Or Howard. I did not feel weird watching McEwen and team go crazy after he made the best shot of the season earlier this year. But when Jacobs and the Brush Brothers go crazy, I just want to puke.

I think my discomfort comes from what I hold dearly about curling, and the values that are built into the game's unwritten etiquette.
Maybe I look at sports differently now that I have kids. But one thing that I look for in a sport is what traits it helps you develop as a human being. I have learned a lot in curling, and from the many people I have played the game with or against. Here are some life lessons learned:

• Treat your opponents with respect. Beat them, but respect them.
• You are not bigger than the game. Others were great before you, and others will be great after you are gone.
• Control your emotions – both positive and negative ones. Staying calm under pressure is the key to winning.
• Play the game fairly and honestly. There are no officials – so honesty is required to make it a playable game. Golf and curling are the only sports I know where you call a foul on yourself, even at the highest level of play. (and it is the only sport where you would say to a competitor: “take the shot over” like Kevin Koe did this week)
• There is no showboating in curling. Never celebrate other people’s misses.
• Don’t get a tattoo of another man’s face on your chest, because your girlfriend will inevitably imagine him when she is with you! (okay I did not need curling to teach me that one)

By no means do I suggest that all curlers are perfect. We have all been assholes at one time or another. But I know when I have been.  And if I don't, there is usually someone is there to call me on it.

Somehow the game’s etiquette has always been kept by its venerable leaders; the respected old-timer (that every curling club has one or two of) who shakes his head when you slam a broom, or celebrate too wildly. I grew up worshipping guys like Hackner and Lang, Stoughton, Ryan, and Folk. None of these guys would have gone crazy after a tap-back in the 5^th end of a tight game. None of these guys ever thought they were bigger than the game. I never heard any of them say anything like “We are changing the face of curling”. 

I am not sure the face of curling needs to be changed. And if it is to be changed, it probably should not be changed for a squinty, angry weight-lifting scowl.

Anyway - once again the Brier proved that it is the ultimate curling event, and despite its flaws and issues (like relegation); is still the greatest showcase for the sport that I love.

Broomgate - my 2 cents

Broomgate!

In case you missed it, the Brier internet world is all abuzz over Ryan Fry and the Harnden’s moving or whacking Team Ontario on a few occasions to keep them from making flat spots on the ice with their hands / knees. Before everyone started talking about it – I was freaking out watching the game on TV. I believe my exact words were: “What a bunch of ass-holes”.

Some points:

•  Everyone goes down on their knees sometime (including Team Jacobs!), especially on a big shot. As long as it’s not all the time – no big deal.
•  It was not a friendly tap. Matt Camm was throwing a big shot in the 3^rd end when someone from Jacob’s Team was clearly seen shoveling his trailing leg. Matt turned right away, then the camera left him to follow the shot. But Matt clearly looked flustered by it. He missed his next shot badly, and pretty much ensured Jacobs would score at least 3 (he rolled out on an open hit for 4). So the incident to me CLEARLY CHANGED THE OUTCOME OF THE GAME. Not saying Kean would have won, but there was a direct impact coming from the shove. They also did it again later, to Mark.
• There is a way that curlers and gentlemen act on the ice. If you believe the opposition is dragging on the ice – talk to them about it AFTER THE SHOT.  Give them some warning. Then talk to the officials.

A story:

My former 2^nd, Brad Fitzherbert (who played in a couple of Briers), used to get mad at guys who spent too much time on their knees. He would politely warn them a few times – and if they kept doing it, would say that next time he would lift them off the ice (Brad was a pretty strong lad). I saw him do it a few times (but I can’t remember to who). But here is the important thing; he was never a dick about it. I never heard anyone get mad at him. He was sportsmanlike about it.  

But Fry / Harnden were not nice. They did it in a petty and aggressive way. And they did it to a team that they knew was probably a bit nervous at the time. It was a hostile and unsportsmanlike move, and FOR SURE was intended to intimidate, and to make matters worse it seemed to have worked!

Jacobs and Team are always eager to say how they are changing the face of curling. 

However "Changing the face of Curling”, should not be about making curling less sportsmanlike.

Today they put out a bullshit non-apology/apology on their Facebook Page blaming Kean’s Team for flat spots, and completely missing the point.

Come on boys – you should know better.

All you need to Watch the Brier; Why I now Buy my Curling Shirts at Baby Gap

A Curling Fan's Guide to this Year's Brier:

The Brier kicks off today in Calgary. Sadly, I am not there.

So instead I will put my feet up, set up the PVR (so i do not have to watch 6000 Tim Horton's commercials!).

This should be a compelling Brier. Looking through the field, I cannot see a weak team. Maybe New Brunswick – and only because I do not really know them.

So here is my primer to who is playing – in the order they are likely to finish.

Brad Jacobs (Northern Ontario): Team Muscle, our Olympic Gold Medal winners will once again bring their brand of workout video, bro-love to the National stage. There will be fist pumps. There will be homo-erotic chest pumps, there will be grunting, there will be posing. They will once again “change the face of curling”, because they apparently invented the concept that having a muscular front end is a good thing. They have certainly changed the way I curl: I now buy all my curling shirts at Baby Gap, to better show off my sick guns.

Jean-Michel Menard (Qc): aka Damn bastard who beat me in the Quebec final. Bold prediction: they will be playing next Sunday on TV. They will be disrespected by TSN, who will pretend to be shocked when they finish 2^nd or 3^rd, and say what an upset it is. They will say that they are not used to facing good competition. They will say they are not as physically fit as Jacobs. They will imply that JM’s 2006 Brier win was the curling equivalent of the 1980 US Olympic Hockey team’s Miracle on Ice. But they will be playing next Sunday.

Brad Gushue (NL): The one they have dubbed Gouchebag has quietly become the 2^nd best team in the country (the best team in the land is not at the Brier! – more on that later). Gushue has been solid all season, and has survived a grueling 2-team Provincial championship in Newfoundland to qualify for the Brier.

Kevin Koe (Alta): Koe and his newly-assembled squad of Kevin Martinites + Brett Laing have failed to display a lot of chemistry so far this season.  But there is so much experience and talent, it is hard to see them not winning 7-8 games in the Round Robin.

John Morris – Team Canada: yes, the Brier now has a Team Canada. Oh joyous day! I am so overjoyed to see that this semi-retired, reassembled cast of characters will fill in the field at the Brier. I predict (and hope) that they will finish out of the playoffs. Not that I do not like these guys – I just don’t like the notion that Nova Scotia will be sent home, but these guys get to play and lose. If there was any justice in the world – they will start with a couple of losses, get demoralized, go 1-10 and end up getting relegated. (what happens if Team Canada finishes last? Does that mean the defending champion next year would have to go through the relegation round? Things that make you go Hmmmm)

Reid Caruthers (Man.): This former Stoughton disciple pulled of a big upset, defeating World #1 Mike McEwen in the Manitoba provincial final. Mike has now officially become the Buffalo Bills, Phil Mickelson, Josée Chouinard of curling all rolled into one. He will have to wait another long year to shed the King Kong sized monkey off his back and make it to his 1^st elusive Brier. Strangely, I think it will be easier for him to win the next Olympics than make it to the Brier next year. (but don’t worry Mike, Warren Hansen at the CCA says the Brier is not important anyway!) Reid Caruthers is a solid team with real playoff potential. Hope they do well.

Mark Kean (Ontario): Good young team from Ontario. They will win some, and they will lose some. Would be surprised if they made the playoffs, but not shocked.

Welcome back Cotter (BC), is back but this time without Johnny Mo skipping and throwing 3^rd rocks. Probably a middle of the pack team without Johnny Mo.

Jamie Koe: Jamie will win the Patch, if not the Brier. (for those of you who do not get this reference, the Patch refers to the giant bar/party area located next to the playing venue. Jamie is an old-school curler that believes in the work-hard/ play harder style of play. This used to be the norm among the top teams in the country, back in the day when curling was a game, as opposed to a high-level athletic pursuit performed by elite, protein-shake drinking über-curlers who would rather hit the gym than have a beer with the other team. Jamie made the semi-finals a few years ago – would love to see him there again but not likely.

Steve Laycock (Sask): (btw – not a good idea to do a search of Lay Cock trying to find an image to include!) A solid team with some Slam experience. They will be tough to beat.

Jeremy Mallais – from NB: They will be in tough. First Brier with a very tough field – they are definitely most likely to get relegated. Anything above last would be a big victory for these guys.

Adam Casey or Bob Smallwood: I am writing this before knowing which of these two teams will qualify. I am assuming it will be Adam – in theory they are a better team. But who knows. This is the shittiest game in the world to play in. Loser gets a bag of turds and a plane ticket home, the winner gets to play in the Brier. As tough as it was losing a provincial final this year, I can guarantee you this game would be worse to lose.

A few words on the fetid, vomit-inducing concept that is Relegation:

I have written more than a few words on what I think about relegation in the past.

Okay – so what do I think now that relegation has happened? Blech. It was worse than I thought.

The teams were treated like crap, and forced to play in a demeaning mini-round robin before sending Nova Scotia Home on a shootout. By 2cm. Are you kidding me? Guys work hard all year practicing, traveling, practicing some more – working hard for the dream of representing their province at the Brier. And they get sent home after 2 games? On a damn shootout measure? Are you kidding me?

Meanwhile, we include a Team Canada – a bunch of indifferent (albeit nice guys) who were going to retire after last year. For Glen MacLeod, this would have been a life-changing week. He would have gained experience on the big stage, and could hope to bring that experience home with him to make curling better in Nova Scotia. Instead he gets to go home and apologize to the Nova Scotia curling community, who will of course insist that he does not owe them one. For John Morris and team, this is just another spiel that they could have done without.

I still am in shock that curlers would do this to curlers. All in the name of adding a Team Canada, and creating an opportunity for Nunavut to decline to play. 

 

Coincidentally, the CCA has launched a slick marketing re-brand of itself this week as Curling Canada. They presumably paid some glitzy marketing firm a pile of cash to put lipstick on a pig. Here is a thought: you can’t put this picture on your webpage (below is a pic of the 1^st Brier winners from Nova Scotia), the same week you tell Nova Scotians that they are not invited to the Brier.

Seriously – CCA, Or Curling Canada or whatever you want to call yourself – fix this now!

More Slams? Sure! As long as the Brier is not the 8th Slam

So a few people have asked my opinion about the Sportsnet Grand Slam Deal. Last year, I wrote What the Olympics Have Done to CompetitiveCurling, which got shared about 10,000 times (which is a lot in the curling world!), and at least 5,000 times if you exclude my mother clicking on it over and over again.

For those of you who have not heard, the Curling Grand Slam has announced plans to expand their coverage to seven events – from its current lineup of 4.

Predictably, the Grand Slam teams and players have lined up to say that this is the best thing since sliced bread and yoga pants on female curlers, while the “Non-Elite” have griped about the rich getting richer – and about this reinforcing the notion that the non-elite teams in Canada will get the short end of the broom.

Firstly, I am definitely a member of the non-elite competitive curling class. I am not bad at curling. I practice my ass off, I play as much as job and family obligations will allow, I win some cash, and I play on arguably the 2^nd best team in Quebec (we just lost the provincial finals to JM Ménard), and I like to chase the dream. I want to curl on TV, like the guys I watched at the Brier back when I had hair like Jeff Stoughton. I want to wear a provincial jacket. This keeps me coming back every year (even after soul-crushing defeats like this year and last). I am a competitive curler. It is in me. And whenever I play in spiels, either in Quebec or elsewhere, I get the feeling that I am not alone. I love it.

However, I also have a job. I have a very generous employer who grants me 4 weeks off for good behaviour, as well as a few personal days to boot. I also have a family. I have three kids who amazingly like seeing me and spending some time with me, and they also like the idea of being on a beach somewhere in July or August like most of their friends. I realize that family and job are choices that I have made, and I accept that these choices keep me from going to the Olympics. They definitely keep me from Slamming – as I could not even conceive playing a schedule of 15 or so weekends of spieling PLUS provincials PLUS maybe even a Brier. Our 5^th man would have to be a divorce lawyer!

So I am a dedicated curler - A die-hard, competitive, good-but-not-great member of Canada’s non-elite curling class. So the question is – what is to come of me? Am I relegated to the Dominion (or the Travelers, as I believe it is now called)? Should I focus on the Mixed?  I am not angry – I am not resentful – I am just increasingly aware that curling no longer caters to guys like me. Whereas 20 years ago it felt like I was in the majority, I am now an increasingly rare species. We have been starved into non-existence, by a lack of places to play, and tournaments to play in. I don’t really know how many of us there are left. Participation in provincial playdowns is a tiny fraction of what is was 10 or 20 years ago. I know more ex-competitive curlers than I do competitive ones.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the Slams are awesome, and I have nothing against them. I would love to play in one. But the Slams are not about promoting curling - or about growing the game, and that's fine. Let me explain:

Somewhere in my non-curling years I picked up an MBA, which taught me a few things about money and business. So, if the good people at Sportsnet and the World Curling Guys can convince sponsors to pay, and if the ad revenue is there, then why not have more events? Why not give more to the elite. Admittedly, nobody is lining up to pay to watch me play on TV, but apparently enough people are paying to watch Gushue, Koe and McEwen. So I say more power to you guys!

Is this doing a lot to develop curling? I dunno. Maybe? At some point you have to think there might be some saturation. At least this year has provided some fresh new faces to watch, and some great highlights. Does it grow the sport? I don't know. It certainly doesn't hurt!

But here is the truth: The Slams were not created to grow curling, nor is it their mandate to do so. The Slams are about money. The Slams are about cashing in on the TV popularity of curling. The Slams have NOTHING TO DO with overseeing the well being of “the game”.

A few people have mentioned that the Slams might start holding “feeder” events to help the non-elite 10 qualify for a Slam here or there. I really like this idea. I also like the idea of these events being regional, so that each Slam can have some local teams in the mix. And if they do so, I would be grateful. But they are not obliged to do so. It will likely not help their TV ratings or sponsor revenues. But it would help create the idea that some of the non-elite teams could at least play their way into the slams.

So, all in all, more slams? Why the hell not. If people are watching than go for it! If you want to create a series of “feeder events” to help draw in some more teams, than I would say Thanks! – and tell me where to send my entry. But I do not expect it!

Where I have a problem is the Canada Cup. And the Continental Cup. And the Brier catering to the elite. And relegation. And Team Canada.

While the Slams have no obligation to be “Stewards of the Game”, the Canadian Curling Association DEFINITELY has this role. A significant amount of its funding comes from government, and a significant amount comes from curlers. While sponsor money plays a big (okay massive) role in their funding as well, I still think that the CCA has a role in protecting THE GAME.

When I read Warren Hansen saying things like “the Canada Cup will be Bigger than the Brier”, I shake my head. When I see relegation implemented at National championships, I shake my head. When I see an event like the Canada Cup held for seven teams, I shake my head. While they can claim to be succeeding in their role of developing the elite, they are failing to protect the greater game. And I hate to tell you, but the Elite really don’t need the CCA to get better.

I get that the Slams might not be for me. But the CCA seems to be telling me to stay in the Mixed, Mike; the big CCA stage is only for the Slam Teams. I object to that.

I say let the Slams be the Slams! They are doing it well. But I believe the CCA has to rethink how it can manage the well-being of the game by creating more inclusive events.    

In the meantime, I will get back to practicing my arse off, so I can beat f***ing Ménard and get to the damn Brier before it becomes the 8^th Slam event.

***

While I am here – continued good luck to a kid from my home club who is currently tearing it up at Junior Nationals. I can attest to hard hard Felix Asselin and his team work at this game, and I am overjoyed at seeing them getting rewarded for their dedication. Looking forward to seeing them on TV this weekend, even with the red pants. So Felix, as we say in Quebec: “Merde!”

Dear Diary: Losing Sucks.

Losing Sucks.

In case you were not following last week, my Men’s curling Team – Un bloque et 3 Bleuets – lost the provincial Men’s final to Jean-Michel Ménard 7-2.

Losing the provincial final sucks.

First prize: A dream trip to the Brier in Calgary; money, the chance to be on TSN (and RDS), the chance to play in front of 15,000 fans plus a big trophy.

Runner-Up Prize: A big bowl of NOTHING. Nada. Zip. Had to pay $5.50 for my post-game rum and coke.  TPHPTT.

 

At least in big cashspiels losing the final is usually accompanied by a cheque that is 60-70% as big as what the winner gets. But there is no second place at provincials. Everybody says “congratulations”, but it is always said with trepidation, as if they know that it is not the appropriate response.

To be honest, The game was never really that close. We came out strong, and had a chance to take the lead in 2 but an ill-timed pick resulted in a steal, and we were suddenly down 2 points to a team that you cannot afford to be down 2 against. JM and his team are merciless front-runners. They hit very well, and force you to play ultra-aggressively just to keep a few rocks in play. Then they don’t miss, which means you end up having to make crazy shots just to scrape out a deuce somewhere, which we could not manage to do. We spent the last few ends flailing like baby seals on an ice float, waiting as the guy with the big stick approaches.

JM and Team seemed to dominate this year like no other. They went undefeated against a strong field, and never even really had a close game (except for one crazy come-from-behind victory). They are playing better than I have ever seen them play.

So here is some Quebec insight for the rest of the country: JM is one of the top 10 teams in the world, and has a real shot at winning his second Brier. I am sure those of you outside of Quebec will point at the World rankings and scoff at my statement. He is currently ranked 17^th on the World Order of Merit, and does not figure in the top 10 on the money list.

But hear me out. This team finished 3^rd at the last Brier, and has kicked ass in almost every spiel they have played in this year. They lost the final in Gatineau – to Mike McEwen (the best team in the world right now), and then won Charlevoix.   

The reason they are not ranked higher is that they play a “Normal” schedule. That is to say that they do not travel every weekend to slams like the other top teams. They have jobs and families, and just do not want to burn themselves out. Seems like a wise choice; maybe some of the other top teams should take note. Especially Olympic Gold Medalist Brad Jacobs - whose wife just had a baby! Maybe being away 26 weeks per year is not the ideal lifestyle for the elite of our sport. Just sayin'.

Quebec Provincial Notes:

There were a number of compelling story lines to follow all week.

• Ontario import Lauren Mann won the Scotties event, rather easily at that. She is joined by Brittany O’Rourke who will now play in her 3^rd consecutive Scotties, Amélie Blais and Anne-Marie Filtault (you might know her the cute Quebec girl in the Scotties commercial that shows super-close ups of attractive women). They were almost as dominant as Jean-Michel, and never really looked in danger of not winning. I think they will do okay at the Scotties. Not awesome, but should be able to keep Quebec clear of the relegation zone!  I predict a strong, middle-of-the-pack showing.
• One of the more entertaining features of the week was the Bob Desjardins show. Bob had a strange week. They finished 3-6, yet somehow were not eliminated heading into the final round robin game. Bob had a 5-man team, which he used to rotate players in and out all week. He fired people, then re-hired, then re-fired, then got sick, got better, suggested his team should submit to psychological evaluation, then lost. Somehow Bob manages to be the most-talked about curler in Quebec, even when he goes 3-6. This team should have been a reality TV show. And they had their own hashtag: #Fredsfault.
• Once again, the Trépannier brothers (now playing with Simon Benoit) proved to be a promising team on the ice, and likely heirs to the title of chief entertainers off the ice. I am still laughing at JF Trépannier discussing an intimate moment from his past that did not end well.  Sorry - not suitable for family reading!
• Good performance by Roxanne Perron – a young team with which we share our coach: Michel St-Onge. They had a similar week to us: they played well, reached the final and then got outplayed. Hope this team sticks it out for a few years – lots of potential and I am sure they learned a lot from their first final experience.
• No word on any teams breaking up or staying together – or if there was I missed it (except for Bob’s team I guess).
• Denis "the Flame" Laflamme did not disappoint in what he claims was his last provincial. He was tough to beat, and pulled off a few upsets.

I have a Dream...

There was a lot of discussion about what should be the format for Quebec provincials - more importantly what we can change to get more teams to sign up.

A meeting will be held with CQ later this month to discuss the format of future provincials (number of teams, regional representation).

But I am starting to think we are missing the boat by talking about the format. My quiet but usually correct lead JF Charest pointed out to me this week: the format is not the problem – the problem is too few teams want to curl in provincials.

Now that I am a Director at Curling Quebec I can’t slam CQ for once again under-promoting what is an excellent event. But I will say that we need to do a better job at selling what could be an excellent showcase for the sport of curling.

Here is my Vision for where I think we need to take Quebec Provincials over the next five years. My plan has 4 points (because all good plans have 4 points):

1. More Media Exposure (and Better Media Exposure)
2.  More Visbility – on TV or the Internet
3. More fun
4. More sponsorship

More Media Exposure: 

The Quebec Provincials get no media attention. We are not on RDS, TVA, or in La Presse, the Gazette, QMI or any of the Journal de wherevers. And the usual refrain is to blame the media.

“They are too hockey centric” – “Nobody cares about Curling”. We have thrown in the towel, and assume that we can never get any media for our sport. I think this is wrong.

My experience with communications over the past few years at my job have taught me one thing: the Media is Lazy. They do not like to work. They do not dig. They prefer when stories come to them, and ideally when they are pre-written in an easy to cut and paste press release. They will not cover a sporting event, but will often send a crew to a press conference if they know that a politician will be there.

I think we just need to ask. I think we need to write stories. I think we need to hold a press conference before the event.  I think we need to have a press area with free donuts.

Quebec is in the same position as the rest of the country: multiple sports networks are fighting to fill their airwaves with sellable content. There must be a way to use this to benefit our sport.

More Visibility

My Gatineau game against Adam Casey was web-streamed. The Mixed Nationals were televised. Most other provinces televise the Provincial finals.

How can we not? (Admittedly this year’s final would have been a yawner, but maybe next year will be better!) There needs to be a way to do this.

More Fun:

The fact is that not everybody is there to win. Many teams are there for the experience. Realistically, only half the teams at this year’s event had a realistic chance of winning, yet they were still there. We need to do a better job at making the event fun for them. The Brier has a “Patch”, a bar area where there is live music and entertainment. Quebec provincials had a couple of tables and some veggies with dip. Why is there not  a Friday night party? We used to have a banquet, which the players do not usually care about. But why not have a party instead – ideally after more than half the teams are eliminated. Invite the volunteers, the sponsors, the local curling clubs, and fans! Have a band. We can’t rely on the Trepannier brothers to play AND serve as entertainment directors. Make it an event.

The provincials need to be a rewarding and fun experience for the teams that will not win.

Provincials are very hard to run. They require a ton of volunteers. I think we need to be more judicious about what we ask people to volunteer for.

How many officials do we really need on the ice? There are scorekeepers, people keeping layouts of the house on little magnet boards, head officials, on-ice officials. Let’s cut it down. Let’s use our volunteers to do more fun stuff. Like run parties…or write press releases. Or staff a press area. We need to make the event more fun for volunteers as well.

More Sponsorship.

I think this one will happen when we get the other 3 pieces right. The sad fact is: the event does not deserve more sponsorship money in the way it is held today. It is not spoken about in the media, it does not look fun, and it is not seen by anybody who is not at the arena. If I were a marketing director, I would not sponsor it. We need to make the Quebec Provincials a bigger show before we can hope to rake in a big fish.

To sum up: We need to think big. Quebec provincials should be one of the main tools in CQ’s arsenal to draw exposure and attention to the sport. It can help showcase our best teams, encourage others to take up the sport and provide visibility to the Quebec curling scene. Instead, it has become an event that only curlers hear about, and that has become a chore from an organizational perspective. Let’s fix this.

As usual – Comments are welcome.